My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.
After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii...
Allow me to introduce myself
What invention allows us to see through walls?
does Hawii allow loud laughs...
As a child, I wanted to be an astronaut but my parents didn't allow it.
They said the sky is the limit.
We live in Colorado and took my son outside today to play hide and seek for the first time. I pointed at the Rockies, looked him dead in the eye and said, "Under no circumstances can we allow them to play!" Confused, he ask why, so I explained, "Well, you see...
Why did the Red Cross not allow Jesus and Muhammad to volunteer?
It’s a non-prophet organization.
In an effort to combat climate change, the U.S. Army will no longer allow rabbits to drive vehicles.
This will eliminate 75% of America’s car bunny missions.
A bar near me has an event once a week where a guy called Michael freely allows the customers to perform surgery on him...
Allow me to colonize this place
:
It's been done, thank you, have a great day. :)
A toilet, a urinal and a very drunk sink are all at the front of a club, fighting and arguing with the bouncer to allow them and their extremely intoxicated friend inside.
Repeatedly shouting “Let that sink in!”
I just heard that the government has made an amendment to lockdown to allow Father Christmas out...
It's called the Santa Clause
In times like these, laughter is essential. I don't have much, but for the ever vigilant mod team and you, the subscribers of /r/DadJokes, please allow me to offer this open letter...
Did you hear that due to the high demand for toilet paper they are going to allow it to be used as currency?
A warden implemented a policy to only allow medical assistance to inmates that previously cooperated
They called it "Snitches get stitches"
Microwaving a TV dinner without opening the package to allow steam to escape is the best way to cook it!
It will be bursting with flavor!
Convertible pants to shorts really do allow you to change on the fly.
Why did your mom allow you to be exposed to preventable illnesses?
Because they're not Karen for you
Guy walks into a bar with his dog and the bartender says “I’m sorry sir, we don’t allow dogs in here.” Guy says “This is no ordinary dog. This dog can speak.”
Bartender says “Sure... If you say so. Now please leave.”
Guy says, “No really I can prove it.” *turns to dog *
“Dog, what is on top this building?” Dog goes “Roof.”
Bartender says “Very clever. Now I’ll ask you again: will you please leave?”
Guy goes “No no seriously! Listen to this: Dog, what is the texture of sandpaper?”
Dog goes “Ruff.”
Bartender says “This is the last time I’m going to tell you!”
Guy says “Wait wait please. Dog who is the greatest baseball player of all time?”
Dog replies “Ruth”
Bartender: “Get out! I’m calling the authorities!”
Guy and dog leave.
Outside dog turns to guy and says “Jeez. Maybe I should have said Barry Bonds.”
Step 1. Connect with a divine being. Step 2. Allow them to speak through you.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
why does god allow my suffering
Why didn't the border guard allow a llama to enter the country?
You dare pet me? Fine, owl allow it.
Why did the judge allow the proctologist’s testimony?
What do you call a boat that doesn't allow criticism?
My baseball team don't allow anyone to wear Adidas.
Three stripes and you're out.
Why don't Italian picnics allow cornish snacks?
Because they're antipasti.
My boss only allows bathroom breaks at designated times, and it is my turn to go now.
Allow me to introduce my Russian friend.
He's very Igor to meet you!
Cinemark won't allow big bags into the theaters now
Good thing I have a couple of Twix up my sleeve
Just a reminder for everyone to plan ahead and allow for extra time tomorrow
The internet is going to have more traffic than usual
Allow me to tell you a joke about Nirvana
Why do they allow snitches to fondle prostitutes?
Did you guys know North Korea only allows one drink size?
Do they allow loud laughs in Hawaii?
In Hawaii, do they allow loud laughing?
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?
Do they allow loud laughing in hawai
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii
or is it just.... A Low Ha?
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?
Do they allow loud laughing Hawaii..
Mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says, Hey we don’t allow mushrooms in here.”
The mushroom says, “Why not? I’m a fungi.”
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
