Are people allowed to laugh loudly in Hawaii?

Or just a low ha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twintower98
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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I apologise if this isn't allowed.

New to this subreddit. I know the point of this thing is to share funny jokes, but since I'm a newbie I hope you'll allow me this one opportunity to make a serious but friendly PSA: If you're lucky enough to have a father, don't take him for granted. Even when they scold or punish you, trust their judgement, it's likely for good reason even if you can't see it at the time. When I was a child I narrowly avoided a horrific accident in which 4 of my friends were electrocuted at a playground we used to play on every day after school. I used to hate my old man for being so strict and disciplining me when all of my friends got to run wild, but if it weren't for him I definitely would have been electrocuted too that day. But I wasn't. I was grounded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoThruTrucks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Why isn't Dracula allowed out during COVID?

He's always coffin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dazeyderp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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Why is it that nobody who lives within ten miles of Wisconsin's Forest Home Cemetery is allowed to be buried there?

Because they're all still alive!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HughJamerican
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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I went to a Ford dealership the other day looking for a specific model. The salesman told me they didn’t have what I was looking for and that I wasn’t allowed to leave.

There was no Escape.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evilmd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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Women were not allowed inside the temple...

... unless they put their big-girl pantheon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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Why is Trump not allowed in the White House anymore?

Because it's forbiden.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/juicy_rectum
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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Are they allowed to LOL?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SailorNebula
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Why are locksmiths allowed to remain open during lockdown?

They are key workers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarBoobSale
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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In Soviet union you were not allowed to write with your left hand. That isn't right!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tambalajus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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I don't think women should be allowed to have kids after 40

40 kids is way too much by any standard

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Opposite-Dustt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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A person asked a Muslim scholar of its allowed to smoke marijuana in his country?

He replied: only gays get stoned here

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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Cymbals should be allowed to have sex with whomever they want

Let bi-gongs be bi-gongs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PKMKII
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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My dad's not allowed to speak Japanese, let alone teach the language. But there's nothing that says he can't teach Japanese cooking and geography. So far, I just learned the cooking tools and the location of the country.

This is Japan, this is ja-spatula, this is ja-whisk, this is ja-wok, this is ja-mixer, this is ja-fork, this is ja-spoon, and these are ja-chopsticks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoxyCamoCat738
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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In which part of Canada are you not allowed to do anything?

Ban-ff.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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The folks who live in my town aren’t allowed to be buried in the old cemetery on the edge of town.

Mostly because they’re not dead yet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Panthropoly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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Are pun requests allowed?

I'm trying to find a good pun for pine or pine tree that is wedding/marriage themed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firetruckyou098
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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What four elements are you not allowed to bring to your job?

Nitrogen, sulfur, Fluorine, and tungsten, cause they are NSFW.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wileydan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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We’re in the process of potty training my two year old. My wife took her into the bathroom and argued with her that she’s not allowed to take toys into the bathroom.

I interrupted her and told her that it is in fact called a toy-let.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zxcoblex
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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Not many fans are allowed in the stadium for Green Bay’s game today. It will be like

Silence of the Lambeau

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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In spite of all restrictions because of Covid, diplomats are allowed to travel freely across countries.

Because they have immunity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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What fruit is not allowed in any Las Vegas Wedding Chapels?

Cantaloupe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cfoxtrot21
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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Did you know about the group where only Trump supporters were allowed?

The others are forbiden.

Credit to u/i_like_it_eilat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pepperminthippos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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No dogs allowed [OC]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JamperSteve
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Why was covid not allowed into a bar?

Cus covid 19

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnooAvocados7098
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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A guy walks into a bar with a dog and the bartender says "No pets allowed!"

The guy says "This isn't a pet, he's my friend and he can talk."

The bartender is skeptical and demands the guy proves it.

The guy asks the dog "What's the opposite of 'soft'?" The dog replies "Rough!"

The bartender remains skeptical and asks for more proof.

The guy asks the dog "What do people put over the top of their house?" The dog replies "Roof!"

The bartender gets annoyed and gives the guy one more chance.

The guy asks the dog "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time? Babe......" The dog replies "Ruth!"

The bartender is fed up and throws them out. The dog says "Should I have said 'Lou Gehrig?'"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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What jokes are allowed in quarentine?

Inside jokes...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kushagra_022
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Why Isnt Ejaculation Allowed On School Property

Because it goes 27 mph.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Puberty2or3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Why wasn't the rock allowed into the party?

He wasn't "granite" permission.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frogstomp420
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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As a newly qualified vet, I'm now allowed to treat animals.

Yesterday, I took a herd of cows out for drinks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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What jokes are allowed during quarantene?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oddern99
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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Why are old dad jokes still allowed to be told?

Because they are grandfathered in!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supersonic3974
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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My friend from Paris was the best man at the wedding of a Belgian waffle heir and a Swedish pancake tycoon, but wasn’t allowed to give a speech at the reception.

They knew he’d give a French toast, and they said it wasn’t worth the pain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/i-kant_even
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked

now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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My wife’s 32 today but I’m only allowed to celebrate my wife’s birthday for half a minute

After all it is her thirty second birthday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squidgyboat5955
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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He won't be allowed to court anyways
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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Why is Darth Vader not allowed to drive a taxi?

Because he is not a tax-evader.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmugAlligator
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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According to the new rules this year, NFL players are no longer allowed to have a chicken as a pet.

It’s considered to be a personal fowl.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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You're not allowed to eat teeth

It's for-bitten.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naruasa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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At the grocery store the other day, the bagger asked the woman in front of me, "Paper or plastic?" She responded, "It makes no difference to me. You choose." The bagger explained that he isn't allowed to, and that she had to choose. This upset her quite a bit, which was confusing to me.

I thought it was common knowledge that baggers can't be choosers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/massivevivid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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Why can't beggers be allowed in court for selection to the Jury box like any other non felon citizen?

Cuz, beggers can't be choosers!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imgprojts
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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There was a man that wasn't allowed to fart.

Since he started dating, his girlfriend would chastise him to great lengths everytime he felt the need to fart.

After they got married, the situation was maintained. He couldn't possibly fart near his wife. Sometimes he had to leave the house, just to pass some gas.

When he was really old, he died peacefully during in his sleep while lying on his back. She called the undertaker, so the arrangements for the funeral could be made.

When the undertaker rolled the man of the bed, there was a massive fart. The undertaker looked to the now widow to see how she was going to react, but she simply said:

"No need to chastise him anymore. Hee can RIP in Peace!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DangerASA
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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Because I am not allowed to post media

https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/ii7t65/his_jokes_arent_always_bad/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dark_boy_vasu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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When visiting Hawaii, you're not allowed to laugh out loud.

Only a low ha.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaceAltair
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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Did you know people aren't allowed to laugh out loud in Hawaii?

They are only allowed a low ha.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matdave
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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What jokes are allowed during quarantine?

inside jokes :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chopinsbach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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What kind of jokes are allowed in quarantine?

Inside jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SchoolOnSunday
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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