Everytime I buy a new house, I always spend $1,000 on the door.
That way, I always make a grand entrance.
What happens when you listen to a Death song 1,000 times?
It becomes a Megadeth song
Did you hear about the cow that could produce 1,000 gallons of milk every day?
She was legendairy.
Don't bother reading that "ultimate" workout blog. "You won't believe" their advice is just to walk 1,000 meters a day.
Saved you a klick.
If I had $1,000,000, I’d donate a quarter of it to charity.
Then I’d have $999,999.75.
Did you hear about the cow competition worth 1,000,000 dollars?
The higher up you can get your cow the higher the score you get.
The steaks are rising.
I had $1,000 extra in my pay last month, this month I was $1,000 short. When I reported it to payroll they asked me why I didn't say anything when I got paid too much.
I told them, I'll tolerate one mistake but not two.
My wife was really pissed when I told her I spent $1,000 on a new wallet......
I told her not to worry I’ll definitely get my money out of it.
me: wanna hear a joke about $1,000
her: sure
me: K
My French friend borrowed 1,000 gallons of water from me...
He wrote me an IO eau.
Tried to count to 1,000 in my car yesterday, but only got to 500 before I wrecked
I hit the median
Just arrived in Minnesota: the land of 10,000 lakes and 1 bad pun..
If someone gave you $1,000,000 to replace their fuse...
would you refuse?
What do 1,000 people say when they're confused?
Kilowatt
Thieves stole a truck with 1,000,000 doses of viagra reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
I wrote a 1,000 page novel about a custodian.
It was a sweeping epic.
My son's teacher asked him to submit a 1,000 word essay...
He couldn’t be bothered and handed in a picture instead.
If I had $1,000,000, I’d donate a quarter of it to charity.
Then I’d have $999,999.75.
