My girlfriend is a square root of -100
Perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
My kid asked me if it's true that some species of Whale can grow up to 100 feet?
I said it's when they're really tired after swimming too long, they can use them to walk home instead.
a farmer drove his son into the market and dropped him off with $100. he told his son not to buy anything except for a cow. if he couldn't afford a cow, he should use the money to get a taxi home. the son sent pics to his dad all day of the ones he thought were good until his phone died.
he just got the most expensive one he could afford for $99.99. he asked to use the cow vendors phone to call his dad. the vendor replied "sure, for $5". the kid worked out a deal to send one text with one word for one cent. he sent his dad: "comfortable"
What do you call a wreath made with $100 bills?
It’s hard to believe that it has been more than 100 years since Einstein published his Theory of Relativity.
It seems like only yesterday.
Border patrol ordered 100 DeLoreans
They hope they can stop illegal migrants in time.
Today I donated my watch, phone and 100 euros to a poor guy
You don't know the happiness I felt as he put his knife back in his pocket
My wife laughed, "The lottery is a tax on fools who can't do math!" I shrugged and said, "You never know! Anybody can win the lottery." Folding her arms, she asked, "Do you even know the chances of a person winning the lottery?" I shot back, "Yes!! 100%!!"
Thousand and thousands of years ago, during the last ice age, there lived an animal that excelled at trigonometry, geometry, and could recite Pi to 100 decimal places. It was known simply as.....
.....the mammothematician.
Over 100 years ago 2 brothers announced that they could fly.
Turns out, they were Wright.
I know over 100 languages
THIS JUST IN: A man is still in critical condition after swallowing $100,000 in large bills.
What did the hospital say to the man with 100% of his left side missing?
The doctor says “He’s alright”
The nurse follows “There’s nothing left!
I was walking with about 100 cows from one ranch to another and I had to pass through a vineyard so
I herded through the grapevine
100 years ago everyone owned a horse but only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
My stressed out Mexican friend is moving to a place where one can live a life of ease on 100 centavos a day...
He needs a change of peso.
From my 3yo: what do you call a 100-year-old ant?
What do you call 100 penguins in Trafalgar Square?
Physicists are playing hide and seek in the afterlife. It's Einstein turn to seek. He counts to 100, turns around and notices Newton in a 1m*1m square. Hah, Newton, I found you!
See Einstein, the problem here is that you discovered Pascal!
100% effective method to not go to jail
I was part of a class and i total , we were 100 students. I walked up to the front of the class , and wrote :"balloons" on the white board. So...
The other 99 read balloons.
What do you call a belt made of $100 bills?
I make Christmas wreaths for a living. So I decided I would make one out of 100 dollar bills the other day.
I call it a wreath of Franklin.
100% certain
Me: Are you sure the small package will completely cover my house for potential intruders?
Security company: Verisure!
Tennis ball machine for sale. Only $100.
Had it over a year now. Has served me well.
If I bought 100 buns for a dollar, what would each bun be?
I just got a letter from a herb and spice company demanding the $100 I owe them.
If I don't pay them within a week, they have threatened to send the bay leafs around.
My hammer has 100% nail hitting accuracy
because if I miss the nail, I hit my nail
Expensive fruit. (iaio #100)
How do you get 100 rowdy Canadians out of the pool?
What lies on its back 100 ft in the air?
I did my personal best in the 100 metres today...
What has a 100 balls and screws old women
I need like 100 puns!
At my high school there's an annoying dude who hates puns so if you have any really bad ones I need you to comment...
I'm gonna send him to PUNintentiary!
I won't stop till he PUNches me!
What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?
I can’t believe it’s been more than 100 years since Einstein published his Theory of Relativity.
It seems like just yesterday.
What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?
What do you call a Christmas decoration made out off $100 bills?
What do you call a wreath of $100 bills?
What do you call a Christmas wreath made of $100 bills?
What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?
What do you call a Christmas decoration made of $100 bills that can play R&B hits?
What do you call a belt made out of $100 bills
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
A perfect 10 but purely imaginary.
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