Butcher of "Baa"viken: Killer of over hundred innocent sheep.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
Every year hundreds of children are shipped off to mime school
Never to be heard from again.
π︎ 48
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︎ Oct 27 2020
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 29 2020
What can you jump over thatβs a hundred feet in the air?
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︎ Oct 18 2020
A report just came out exposing how the government's mishandling of an explosive object could've caused the deaths of hundreds of civilians
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︎ Nov 02 2020
What has 2 syllables but hundreds of letters?
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︎ Sep 10 2020
An ice cream man was found unconscious in his van today, covered in chocolate sprinkles, hundreds and thousands, raspberry sauce, caramel & nuts.
Police believe he tried to top himself.
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︎ Sep 15 2020
A square ran into a dead end while running away from hundred of circles
π︎ 2
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︎ Sep 15 2020
My friend dumped a five hundred pound load of pig intestines on his boss's desk in protest...
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 27 2020
The communists have been talking about their revolution for over a hundred years now...
Iβm starting to think theyβre Stalin
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 24 2020
I told my friend his βhundred eggs in five daysβ diet made me deathly ill.
He told me that was an eggsaturation.
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︎ Jul 31 2020
I once ate a hundred chips in one sitting
Thatβs how I got banned from the casino
π︎ 15
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︎ Aug 04 2020
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry..
i became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
π︎ 9
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︎ Aug 02 2020
What do you call a belt made out of hundred dollar bills?
π︎ 94
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︎ Apr 01 2020
The local dragon regularly poops hundreds of pounds of ore directly into the sea.
It's a gross waste of resources.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jul 31 2020
I once caught a fish with a hundred dollar bill in its mouth.
I know this story may sound a little fishy, some of you may even consider it a whale of a tale, but if you take it in tide Iβm sure youβll sea the porpoise isnβt me just beingkoi or * squidding* around or fishing for attention; it was shrimply an act of cod that Iβm hooked on sharing with others. If it reely makes anyone crabby or puts me on thin ice, just let minnow and Iβll gladly clam up. Iβd hate to see this sub flounder or take a dive because of my own shellfish ambitions.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jun 20 2020
A man purposely crashed two passenger trains, killing hundreds. Why didnβt he get the electric chair?
Turns out he was a really bad conductor.
π︎ 14
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︎ May 28 2020
I was reading a history book, and apparently in the middle east there were hundreds of years where nocturnal predator birds used to fly around and ejaculate all over the place. The Arabic people would keep each other up to date on the latest attacks; and so marked the beginning of...
π︎ 3
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︎ Apr 22 2020
Humans are scared of hippos because they're violent and responsible for hundreds of deaths per year, when in reality, people kill way more people per year...
...so thatβs just being hippocritical...
π︎ 29
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︎ Apr 28 2020
Reciting one hundred digits of pi is easy.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 09 2020
I canβt believe itβs been more than a hundred years since Einstein proposed his Theory of Relativity.
It feels like only yesterday.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 27 2019
Where do you go if you want to stop a water flow by wedging in hundreds of small furry animals?
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 03 2020
My sister bet me a hundred dollars i couldn't build a car out of spaghetti
You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
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︎ Dec 24 2018
Someone stole hundreds of cans of Red Bull from our local store.
I donβt know how they can sleep at night.
π︎ 5k
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︎ Apr 04 2018
Probably been posted hundreds of times before
π︎ 105
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︎ Jan 08 2019
What do you call a hundred centipedes?
π︎ 86
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︎ Jun 16 2019
TIL: A few hundred years ago, the boomerang was Australiaβs chief export.
π︎ 1k
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︎ Jun 12 2018
Have you ever tried glueing a hundred beef rib-eyes to every window of your house?
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 28 2019
Why does the father tell his son one hundred dad jokes?
π︎ 8
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︎ Aug 22 2019
While walking down the street a man found a hundred dollars on the ground...
While walking down the street a man found a hundred dollars on the ground. Ecstatic, he took the money and walked into a nearby store, thinking he would treat himself. Inside, he purchased a large chocolate cake and started walking home. Suddenly, a crazy old man popped out of an alley next to him and ran straight past him! As he went by, he dropped a mechanical eyeball straight into the middle of the cake. Dazed, the man stopped and stared at the eyeball when it suddenly started to belt out a tune!
Well, obviously the best part of this story was the finding of the 100 dollars - everything else is just eye sing on the cake.
π︎ 9
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︎ May 30 2019
I just spent hundreds of dollars online buying expensive ointments for my skin condition.
That was a rash decision.
π︎ 13
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︎ Aug 02 2019
Have you heard of the guy that bowled three hundred and one? No? Because Iβve never heard of anyone that bowled three hundred and lost.
π︎ 8
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︎ Jul 07 2019
I dared a guy to fill up his piggy bank with one penny every year for one hundred years.
He said he wouldnβt do it.
Cause it would take a cent-ury.
π︎ 45
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︎ Feb 02 2019
I spent a few hundred bucks at an exposition last weekend.
I can't remember exactly how much but it was a fair amount.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 12 2019
The inventor of fairy bread passed away yesterday. Hundreds and thousands attended his funeral.
π︎ 3
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︎ May 28 2019
What do you call one hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
π︎ 36
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︎ Apr 02 2018
Four hundred years ago, the pagan minority in Salem learned a valuable lesson about dealing with religious fanaticism
Be careful what you witch for
π︎ 14
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︎ Jul 09 2018
World of Warcraft introduced a scavenger hunt to find a secret item that involved hundreds if not thousands of people in a Discord spending days and days scouring the entire world for little clues.
The secret reward is called Waist of Time.
Well played, Blizzard, well played.
π︎ 7
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︎ Aug 26 2018
I know hundreds of jokes about bread.
π︎ 12
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︎ Jan 01 2019
What's a hundred dollars' favorite band.
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 08 2019
What are two hundred bison called?
π︎ 6
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︎ May 23 2020
I canβt believe itβs been more than a hundred years since Einstein proposed his Theory of Relativity.
It feels like it was only yesterday.
π︎ 29
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︎ Oct 03 2019
Some thieves stole hundreds of cans of Red Bull from our local convenience store.
I donβt know how they can sleep at night.
π︎ 18
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︎ May 04 2019
My friend bet me a hundred dollars that I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti.
You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 16 2019
I canβt believe itβs been over a hundred years since Einsteinβs Theory of Relativity was published.
It seems like just yesterday.
π︎ 23
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︎ Nov 21 2018
I bought a belt made of hundred dollar bills
π︎ 1k
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︎ Aug 01 2015
Every year hundreds of kids are shipped off to mime schoolβ¦
β¦never to be heard from againβ¦
π︎ 221
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︎ Jul 11 2017
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