Everytime I buy a new house, I always spend $1,000 on the door.

That way, I always make a grand entrance.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
More than 1 000 pieces of music by Johann Sebastian Bach have been preserved,

along with nearly 900 by Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach, nearly 400 by Johann Christian Bach, more than 300 by Johann Christoph Friedrich Bach, and nearly 200 by Wilhelm Friedemann Bach.

Together with as many as 200 more surviving compositions by other members of the Bach dynasty, scholars estimate that about 3 000 works are preserved in total, a collection that we today know as the Baroque Bach mountain.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetaEd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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What happens when you listen to a Death song 1,000 times?

It becomes a Megadeth song

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sandstar115
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
This is a one in a 1,000,000 joke

1

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow that could produce 1,000 gallons of milk every day?

She was legendairy.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dcapz87
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't bother reading that "ultimate" workout blog. "You won't believe" their advice is just to walk 1,000 meters a day.

Saved you a klick.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
If I had $1,000,000, I’d donate a quarter of it to charity.

Then I’d have $999,999.75.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DropTopTyler
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Apple releases a $1,000 monitor stand
πŸ‘︎ 111
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dabberzx3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow competition worth 1,000,000 dollars?

The higher up you can get your cow the higher the score you get.

The steaks are rising.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MightBeATaco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was really pissed when I told her I spent $1,000 on a new wallet......

I told her not to worry I’ll definitely get my money out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 532
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marwoh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I had $1,000 extra in my pay last month, this month I was $1,000 short. When I reported it to payroll they asked me why I didn't say anything when I got paid too much.

I told them, I'll tolerate one mistake but not two.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
me: wanna hear a joke about $1,000

her: sure

me: K

πŸ‘︎ 149
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My French friend borrowed 1,000 gallons of water from me...

He wrote me an IO eau.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Tried to count to 1,000 in my car yesterday, but only got to 500 before I wrecked

I hit the median

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StealthAnus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
1,000,000

^ That's a one in a million.

πŸ‘︎ 128
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DTMF223
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Just arrived in Minnesota: the land of 10,000 lakes and 1 bad pun..
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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If someone gave you $1,000,000 to replace their fuse...

would you refuse?

πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theeclat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
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What do 1,000 people say when they're confused?

Kilowatt

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeearr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2014
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Thieves stole a truck with 1,000,000 doses of viagra reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schmidt_1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
🚨︎ report
I wrote a 1,000 page novel about a custodian.

It was a sweeping epic.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PunnedItPundit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
🚨︎ report
My son's teacher asked him to submit a 1,000 word essay...

He couldn’t be bothered and handed in a picture instead.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2017
🚨︎ report
If I had $1,000,000, I’d donate a quarter of it to charity.

Then I’d have $999,999.75.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/One_Day_Dead
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report

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