I got in a car wreck and lost my left arm, but don’t worry...
I’m all right.
buh-dum-tsss
A woman suddenly in labor shouts, shouldn’t! wouldn’t! couldn’t! didn’t! can’t! The doctor says "don't worry."
“Those are just contractions.”
All this stress lately has me trying new things. For example, I've discovered that brake fluid is actually delicious. I'm up to a case a day, but there's no need to worry about me.
I often worry about German sausages
Basically I fear the wurst.
Edit: thanks for my first award ya loonies ;)
*calls mum * son : I'm in hospital but don't worry everything is fine
Mum : you're the daym doctor and this wasn't funny the first time
NASA put a watch around a potted plant and sent it on a rocket to the sun. I said to my Daughter, "don't worry, it will be ok.."
"a watched pot never boils"
My wife says that I should worry about the brakes on my car instead of posting on Reddit
Why doesn't Santa Claus have to worry about catching COVID-19?
Because he has Santa-bodies.
What do environmentalists worry about when they poo ?
Whether to save water or to save trees.
Don’t worry if you’re tall or skinny or rich or poor. And the end of the day...
Don't worry about catching COVID from the gifts that Santa delivers
They will all be Santatized
Don't worry I can find the door myself
My friend asks if it is okay to park without paying. I told him, “don’t worry.”
What do you say to an arachnid that worries too much about everything?
Please, don't be so dramatick!
My wife, who's eight months pregnant, asked me if I worry that it's been too hot recently for our baby inside her. I reassured her...
“Nah, it’s probably womb temperature!"
My son cried when he lost his first girlfriend. I told him don't worry its not the end of the world
The swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild.
Except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.
Dont worry guys, this one isnt 18+
A friend sent me a text apologizing for the atrocious grammatical errors in his last message. I told him not to worry
Feeling overwhelmed? Don't worry!
My friend sent me this (don’t worry I didn’t block her)
Don't worry, I'm fine after the sex operation
Doctor: your brain fell out during the accident but don't worry I put it back in
Me: thanks for reminding me
Don't worry if you didn't get to enjoy 4/20
My Grandma was talking about the good old days and said “in my day we could leave the door unlocked and not worry about it!” and “we grew up with nothing but we were happy”...
I replied “Well Grandma, I hate to break it to you, but you grew up with nothing because you kept leaving the door unlocked!”
You might be worried about overeating while you’re quarantined, but it’s better than risking the spread of disease. So don’t worry...
It will be worth the weight.
You vs the curl he tells you not to worry about
Don't worry about your smartphone or computer spying on you...
Your vacuum has been gathering dirt on you for years
This is an ill eagle image. (Don't worry, he's much better now.)
"Attention passengers: I'd like to personally welcome you to my first day as a railway conductor. Not to worry though, you're in very capable hands...
I've been training for this."
My sister talking about Christmas: “I don’t worry about Christmas, I got it all under wraps”
Don't worry the situation is under control
Do not worry, my lips are sealed
If you regret your vote in 2016, don't worry about it
Don't worry the spider is smaller than you
Well yeah, and so is a grenade
My dad said the other day, when I was feeling low, 'don't worry it could be worse, you could be in a hole full of water'
Man: Ugh, I’ve had really bad gas lately. Doctor: Don’t worry...
Don't worry, I've got a congealed wepon permit.
My buddy is getting his left arm amputated tomorrow. Don't worry, he'll be all right.
If you buy real, block Parmesan you don't have to worry about tossing it in your bag
I called my parents and told them not to worry, but I'm in the hospital.
They told me "You're the doctor and this wasn't funny the first time".
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