Work pun regarding a dewar (large metal tank used for liquid nitrogen)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Timmy12er
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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Because I love work PUNS! :D
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ediosync
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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Nailed my brother with an excellent wood working pun on Sunday night.

He was over for dinner, asking me about making a simple wooden box. Once he's finished describing what he wants to do and how he thinks he'll do it I reply with "Yeah, that wood work".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BountyHNZ
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2015
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Only works when spoken instead of typed out
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mathucub
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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Hopefully atleast this meme works
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ross_francis_bing
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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I was going through the checkout when my card didn't work. The cashier said that I should try the card again.

I looked down at my shirt and said, "but I like my polo".

I had to explain it, but once she got it she thought it was hilarious. I'm very proud of this joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaGeek247
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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I was walking home from work, talking to my husband on the phone. He asked me where I was. I said I passed a garden full of gnomes. He said he knew the one I was talking about.

I said "So it's a well gnome garden".

I laughed harder than he did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Upcyclethis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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My parents always pushed me to get a big job. So i worked at a soda company just to sprite them.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GREGY-K
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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When 2 things just work together perfectly they're a
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_The_2nd_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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There were 30 cows and 28 chicken. How many didn't?
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rozen007
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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My mechanic is 87 years old and he still works 40 hours a week.

Whenever he says "I'm ready to retire," his boss puts him right back to work on another car.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/logansworth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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I refuse to believe that my road work father was stealing from his job.

But when i got home all the signs were there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kundan_n
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun.

Big deal. I have had a Canon printer for years.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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So I used to work at an orange juice factory...

But I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrimaryStrict
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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Why do women have a difficult time working for the postal service?

It’s mail-dominated.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SecondRateHack
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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I love working with spreadsheets.

It's something I really Excel at.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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This is the last thing I need
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/discovid19
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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My psychiatrist says I have an unhealthy obsession with revenge.

We'll see about that...

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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My brother and I are working on a tight deadline in making Dracula action figures.

I have to make every second Count.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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So apparently when you die, the last part of your body that stops working is your pupils..

It’s because they di-late

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πŸ‘€︎ u/red_beard2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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What works faster than a calculator?

A calcu-now.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yellowlemonie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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My uncle worked in a can crushing plant...

His job was soda pressing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VAOkie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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I'm working hard on something now so I can peacefully do nothing in retirement...

So I'm givin it all for nothing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marinmarge
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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Ancient South American owls always worked together secretly.

They were Inca hoots.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kartenhouse
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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I came home from work upset. "My boss fired me because I expressed my opinion," I told my wife.

She said, "That's a human right."

I said, "Yes, my boss is a human."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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Giraffes can never apologize to each other.

It takes them too long to swallow their pride.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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How do you make the number one disappear?

You add "g" and it's GONE

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssr0203
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.

Either it sucks or it sucks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heybuddy313
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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What a pizza work!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nitestocker372
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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Why shouldn't you put more than 239 beans in a soup?

Because adding just one more would make it too farty. Straight from my 7 year old daughter.

Edit: Thank you so much for the awards and upvotes. I showed my daughter how many people saw and appreciated her humor and she's extatic. I know she probably didn't come up with the joke herself but this was one of the first times she really got me with a good one and I thought I'd share it with some fellow dads and others.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oak05
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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It FINALLY happened.

Almost 40 and growing my beard out for the first time. Wife finally says "You know I'm starting to like it." And I could finally say "Yeah. It's growing on me."

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1284X
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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Not a joke for written context, but one you can use on your family.

You just say to your family member - "Did you hear someone in the family is part owl?"

They'll reply with "who?" And you look at them with a raised eyebrow.

Tell this joke over dinner if youd like to be the life of the party. You're welcome.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MCKANNON
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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Where do astronauts go to unwind after a hard day's work?

The spacebar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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Social distancing doesn’t work

No matter how far apart two people are, there’s only four feet between them!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/G3ner3x
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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I ended things with my communist girlfriend.

Too many red flags.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingi0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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I have been working on my HAMstring!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Or_newman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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The most important part of a mail pun, is the delivery.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potato_patataa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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I have a buddy who is a prominent geologist, but outside of work, he's very lazy and inactive.

He lives a sedimentary lifestyle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sillymonkey829
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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Brain transplants will never work

You can’t change my mind

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AudenWolfe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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Why did the Joker enjoyed working in the post office on the weekends ?

Cause it's not about the money . It's about sending a message !

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πŸ‘€︎ u/k1ll1ngtime
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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Just started my new job as a security guard. The supervisor told me my job would be to watch the office at night.

I’m on season eight. Still not sure what this has to do with security.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoldaHolda
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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My neighborhood bar, there's a girl from Anchorage who works there. Another barfly asks me where she's from....

(Jersey accent) I don't know, Alaska.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JSNhova
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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Puns are the devil's work so I have nun.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ace--dragon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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Got ourselves a new forklift at work...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gilleod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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I use to work in a liquorice factory.

It was ALL-SORTS of fun

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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Why won't it work?!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raypeghost
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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What works faster than a calculator?

A calcu-now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mewmewgoo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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What works faster than a calculator?

A calcu-now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LastLeave8770
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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