Construction workers don't have side chicks

They have Back Hoes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yatzhie04
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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What’s a construction workers favorite song?

Running With The Level!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LegendaryBroku
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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A construction worker goes to a fancy restaurant and his a dress code problem.

The man goes into the fancy restaurant and have a discussion with the host:

Host Sir, you cannot come in here with out a belt. We have standards.

The man goes out to his car and puts on a belt fashioned out of some rope. He goes back in.

Host Alright.... I guess you have a belt....You still need a jacket.

The man goes back out to his car and fishes out a jacket his wore to a wedding a year ago. He shares it off, brushes it with his hand, and puts it on.

Host Ok. You still need a tie. It is required.

The man goes out to his car. He doesn't have a tie. He puts on jumper cables and makes a perfect Windsor knot.

Host You have a belt and a jacket. I guess you have a tie.

Just don't try to start something....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WinnieTheEeyore
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
If plumbers have plumbers crack what do construction workers have?

Asphalt (My dads been telling this one since I was 12, never heard it anywhere else πŸ˜‚)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterGriimm
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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Did you hear about the near sighted construction worker who lost his glasses?

He really fell into his work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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Did you hear about the new dating site that matches women up with construction workers?

It's called Studfinder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VomitingPotato
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How does construction workers party ?

They raise the roof.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masprocas
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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The pharaoh promised workers they would be rich if they bought into his MLM construction plan.

It was the very first pyramid scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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Did you hear about the construction workers that got sick?

They’re dealing with it asbestos they can

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GangreneMachine
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
When a construction worker farts dont blame him it's his asphalt
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Helpinghamburgers
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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There was a suspicious β€˜accident’ at a construction site. The police investigated all the workers at the job site . . .

It looked like foul play. The mason wasn’t a suspect. He had a concrete alibi. The night of the accident he said he was with his girlfriend. She confirmed this. There was a wall of evidence. Consequently his alibi was rock solid and not just a facade. There was damning evidence that it was the plumber. They figured his alibi, that he was at the casino, wouldn’t hold water. But cameras showed fluid betting all night. This, obviously, threw a wrench in the investigation. The investigators followed a lead to the electrician. He had a shocking secret. It seems the electrician had been charged with battery only months earlier. But it was a dead end. They looked at the HVAC installer, but his alibi was airtight. Next, they tried to nail the Roofer, as he had been spouting off about the victim the day of the accident. But the roofer had been hammered all day. There was no way they could paint him as the cunning mastermind.

Then they saw the writing on the wall: the painter had both motive and opportunity. He was seen canvassing the accident site a few strokes before midnight when the accident occurred. The victim fell off a faulty ladder that was covered in finger paint. It seems the victim and the painter had a few brush-ins before. And it wasn’t a pretty picture. The painter was indicted, but despite all the evidence, the charges didn’t stick and the jury let him roll off clean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dirty_Entendre
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
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So, I recently got a job as a construction worker.

Looking for the punchline? Hold on, I'm still working on it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirMalcolmK
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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Did you hear about the construction worker who took up a job in a bar next to doing road work?

He's a tar-tender now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leviathulu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a construction worker who is good at matchmaking?

A stud finder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SevenEyes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the construction workers say when they finished the building?

Nailed It.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeDandilus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A rude construction worker was asked to go to a funeral...

...He really put the nail in the coffin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/samrf1202
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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A construction worker walks into a bar

And puts an ice pack on his head because it was made of metal

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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I saw a bunch of construction workers apologising to God.

It was a sorry site.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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My 12 year old made his mom groan with this.... "Did you hear about the construction worker's job?"

Nevermind, I don't want to tell 30 stories.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redneckrockuhtree
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2016
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I heard they pay construction workers who build financial institutions a higher wage.

Those guys really make bank.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unclemerle1775
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
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My construction worker buddy asked me, "You know what I saw the other day?"

I answered, "Wood."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/starbridge
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a construction worker who carries bricks to a cemetery?

A builder-bearer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/project2315
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I never wanted to believe my dad steals from his job as a construction worker...

but when I got home, all the signs were there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OvaryActingJesus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2013
🚨︎ report
What did the construction worker do after he moved to a new city?

He built himself a new life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Norskey
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2013
🚨︎ report
Walked by a group of construction workers on the way to work today...

I know what they were building....friendship.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevingcp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Construction worker got me with a good one

As I was walking along the sidewalk, a construction worker holding up a stop sign asked how I was doing. I said "Good, you?" and he replied "I'm OUT-STANDING!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/battyeyed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2016
🚨︎ report
What kind of music helps construction workers sleep?

Sheetrock

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theRiley3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2016
🚨︎ report
Noticed some construction workers putting the roof up on a new house...

A couple friends walked up to me...

"Guys you'll never guess what I just saw, it was crazy!"

"What?"

"I caught those construction workers partying really hard just a second ago"

"What? No way, really?!"

"Yeah, look at em. They're raising the roof.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrStrangeway
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2016
🚨︎ report
Construction workers

While putting up framework in a construction site, a worker waves at the crane operator about to place a main support beam and yells "stop, that beam isn't strong enough! There's no way this will hold the upper levels!". The foreman pushes the worker aside and yells to the crane driver "It's fine. Truss me, I'm an engineer!"

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πŸ“…︎ May 18 2015
🚨︎ report
What did the construction workers say when they finished the building?

Nailed It.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeDandilus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How do construction workers party?

They raise the roof!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChingChongMan123
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
I just saw two construction workers laughing. You know what they were building?

Friendship πŸ˜€

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2015
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