Construction Workers Puns

They have Back Hoes

Running With The Level!

The man goes into the fancy restaurant and have a discussion with the host:

Host Sir, you cannot come in here with out a belt. We have standards.

The man goes out to his car and puts on a belt fashioned out of some rope. He goes back in.

Host Alright.... I guess you have a belt....You still need a jacket.

The man goes back out to his car and fishes out a jacket his wore to a wedding a year ago. He shares it off, brushes it with his hand, and puts it on.

Host Ok. You still need a tie. It is required.

The man goes out to his car. He doesn't have a tie. He puts on jumper cables and makes a perfect Windsor knot.

Host You have a belt and a jacket. I guess you have a tie.

Just don't try to start something....

Asphalt (My dads been telling this one since I was 12, never heard it anywhere else 😂)

He really fell into his work.

It's called Studfinder.

They raise the roof.

It was the very first pyramid scheme.

They’re dealing with it asbestos they can

It looked like foul play. The mason wasn’t a suspect. He had a concrete alibi. The night of the accident he said he was with his girlfriend. She confirmed this. There was a wall of evidence. Consequently his alibi was rock solid and not just a facade. There was damning evidence that it was the plumber. They figured his alibi, that he was at the casino, wouldn’t hold water. But cameras showed fluid betting all night. This, obviously, threw a wrench in the investigation. The investigators followed a lead to the electrician. He had a shocking secret. It seems the electrician had been charged with battery only months earlier. But it was a dead end. They looked at the HVAC installer, but his alibi was airtight. Next, they tried to nail the Roofer, as he had been spouting off about the victim the day of the accident. But the roofer had been hammered all day. There was no way they could paint him as the cunning mastermind.

Then they saw the writing on the wall: the painter had both motive and opportunity. He was seen canvassing the accident site a few strokes before midnight when the accident occurred. The victim fell off a faulty ladder that was covered in finger paint. It seems the victim and the painter had a few brush-ins before. And it wasn’t a pretty picture. The painter was indicted, but despite all the evidence, the charges didn’t stick and the jury let him roll off clean.

Looking for the punchline? Hold on, I'm still working on it.

He's a tar-tender now

A stud finder

Nailed It.

...He really put the nail in the coffin

And puts an ice pack on his head because it was made of metal

It was a sorry site.

Nevermind, I don't want to tell 30 stories.

Those guys really make bank.

I answered, "Wood."

A builder-bearer

but when I got home, all the signs were there.

He built himself a new life.

I know what they were building....friendship.

As I was walking along the sidewalk, a construction worker holding up a stop sign asked how I was doing. I said "Good, you?" and he replied "I'm OUT-STANDING!"

Sheetrock

A couple friends walked up to me...

"Guys you'll never guess what I just saw, it was crazy!"

"What?"

"I caught those construction workers partying really hard just a second ago"

"What? No way, really?!"

"Yeah, look at em. They're raising the roof.'

While putting up framework in a construction site, a worker waves at the crane operator about to place a main support beam and yells "stop, that beam isn't strong enough! There's no way this will hold the upper levels!". The foreman pushes the worker aside and yells to the crane driver "It's fine. Truss me, I'm an engineer!"

Nailed It.

They raise the roof!

Friendship 😀