Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?

It’ll be a minute before I get hard, I just got laid by a chick.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRaizinBran
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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I broke the glass coffee pot at work when I put cold water in it.

You could say it lost its temper.

πŸ‘︎ 172
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VTKegger
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2016
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I'm not just going to give you a pot to boil water.

You'll have to urn it.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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I made friends with a pot of water, but my wife just used him to boil spaghetti

He will be mist.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeppo3
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2017
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What do you call a man in a pot of boiling water?

Stew

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2016
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Did you hear about the Rotini family?

Sixteen of them fell into a pot of boiling water and pasta way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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R.I.P Boiling Water...

You will be mist

πŸ‘︎ 558
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jorourke35
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2017
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I just hit my fiancee with this one.

The largest container we have in our house is a tea pot. and I was extra thirsty so I wanted more water than usual. So I go to the freezer and load the teapot with some ice, and fill it up with water.

Fiancee: - "What are you making?"

me: - "Ice tea."

queue eye rolls from the fiancee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoopiesCoin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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Two cannibals are chatting

and the first cannibal says "I killed and ate a missionary yesterday, but I think he gave me an upset stomach." The second cannibal says "That's too bad. How'd you cook him?" The first cannibal says "Oh, I threw him in the giant pot of boiling water like always." The second cannibal says "Makes sense. And what did he look like?" The first cannibal says "The usual. Brown robe, rope belt, sandals." And the second cannibal says "Well there's your problem. You boiled him, and he was a friar."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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What do you call a men with no arms or legs?

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pond? A: Bob

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs under a car? A: Jack

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in your mailbox? A: Bill

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on a wall? A: Art

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pot? A: Stu

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a grill? A: Frank

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves? A: Rustle

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pot hole? A: Phil

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs at the bottom of a hole? A: Doug

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs at the bottom of a not as deep hole? A: Douglas

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs at your front door? A: Matt

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the floor at a barbershop? A: Harry

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs that works at a brewery? A: Bud

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs water-skiing? A: Skip

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhinobird
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
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Making holy water.

How do you make holy water?

It's very simple, you fill a pot with water and boil the hell out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/z0rd
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2014
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I saw this one on my Facebook feed. "A husband comes home to his wife making dinner..."

A husband comes home to his wife making dinner. He asks, "Is there anything I can do to help?" She replies, "Sure, there is a bag of potatoes in the fridge. Get them out, peel half of them, and put them in a pot of water." This was the result:

http://i.imgur.com/JEZhghr.png

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_cant_speel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2014
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While my wife was cooking dinner...

We have a few drawers just below the cooktop, and one of them was open while my wife was pouring some frozen peas into a pot of boiling water. One of the frozen peas missed the pot and I told her "You just peed in the draw." All I got from her was a smirk, but I'm happy with that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xbtdev
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2014
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Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?

It's gonna take me a minute to get hard, I got laid just this morning

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VictoRealVirus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2016
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Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteamed colleague.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zxcv437
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2016
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