He said with a trembling voice, "Because water works!"
I think she just has a strong sense of iron-y.
So an under-age weasel waltzes into the local bar one fine Friday. He asks the bartender,
"HEY! Whatcha got to drink here?"
Bartender checks his ID, replies with,
"Well sir, since you're not quite old enough, here are your options:
We got tap water, seltzer water, apple juice, orange juice, milk, coffee, tea, and pop."
"POP! Goes the Weasel."
So I sent him a "get well soon" card
Let that sink in.
Her: So how are we doing with Toilet Paper?
Me: I've been practicing for 30 years, i think i got a good technique going.
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with a hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”
r/jokes thought that this joke belongs here
I texted back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with hammer."
She texted back 10 minutes later, "Computer really messed up now."
I go to the sink in the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water. Punny Dad comes up behind me and starts lightly hitting the pipe.
Me: No Dad - Dad: 'Tap' water - Me: - I get it Dad!
So me and my grandparents are very close and we go out to eat at least once a month. One day we went to a restaurant that had a special on Natty Light. He orders one and I ask him, "Of all the beer they have on tap why would you order Natty Light?" To which he responds. "Natural Light is like making love in a canoe" I give him a confused look. "It's fuckin' near water!"