I think she just has a strong sense of iron-y.
So I sent him a "get well soon" card
Let that sink in.
One day he sat on his green couch and turned on his green TV to watch a green western. And it was a great green western too.
When the green western was over, the green man turned the green TV off and decided to go for a nice relaxing green bath.
He left the green lounge, turned off the green lights and travelled along the green hall, up the green stairs and to the green bathroom.
In the green bathroom he turned on the green light and turned the green tap to make the green water fill up the green bath tub.
The green man got changed from his green clothes and was left in the green. He dipped his green toe in to the green water to check the temperature, then he slowly lowered his whole green self in to the green bath.
No sooner had his green bottom touched the base of the green tub then the green doorbell went. He heaved his green body out of the green tub and quickly wrapped a green towel around his green waist.
He went down the green stairs to the green door and opened it. Standing there in front of his green house was an elderly lady, she asked the directions to local train station. The green man forgot about the green towel situation and with the green hand that was on the green towel pointed in the direction of the trains.
In doing so he dropped his green towel to his green ankles, revealing his green privates. The elderly lady shrieked turned and ran across the road, where she was struck by a passing car.
And kids what's the moral of the story? . . . . . Don't cross the road while the green man's flashing
Her: So how are we doing with Toilet Paper?
Me: I've been practicing for 30 years, i think i got a good technique going.
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with a hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”
Tap water
r/jokes thought that this joke belongs here
I go to the sink in the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water. Punny Dad comes up behind me and starts lightly hitting the pipe.
Me: No Dad - Dad: 'Tap' water - Me: - I get it Dad!
So me and my grandparents are very close and we go out to eat at least once a month. One day we went to a restaurant that had a special on Natty Light. He orders one and I ask him, "Of all the beer they have on tap why would you order Natty Light?" To which he responds. "Natural Light is like making love in a canoe" I give him a confused look. "It's fuckin' near water!"
I applauded.
I texted back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with hammer."
She texted back 10 minutes later, "Computer really messed up now."
