One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of its clause!
TNT. It's dino might.
It’s just too funny, for it is simply Me-Me.
I tell him no, we do not carry any gyms
A compound sentence
I failed so many times, I can’t even count.
Edit: to the people turning this into an “ACKSHUALLY it’s hydroxyperoxide/tetraoxidane/non-existent chemical bind!” chemistry moment, just chill, it’s a dad joke.
Turned out it was a compound fracture.
Because he found their compound interesting.
Into the chemical compound.
It's a compound of vegetable and aryan because it refers to a person that believes vegetables are the most superior food.
Because they have compound interest.
Hit head-on by a drunk driver, she broke her right wrist and forearm (compound fracture), and broke her right femur. The doctor came to talk to us after the surgery and told us she was okay. My dad asked, "will she be able to play the trumpet?" And the doctor assured us that she would make a full recovery and be able to play after the cast came off. To which my dad replies, "Wow, you're one hell of a doctor. All she could play before was the piano!"
You just can't beat that compound interest!
Coworker: This is a racket. How do they justify charging an extra $3000 for something like sodium bicarbonate?
Me: Right? It's not like it's some fancy, top-secret compound. It's pretty basic.
My other coworker is a chem major about to enter grad school. He made me go work in the corner for a while after that one.
It has been found these locations are contaminated with dihydrogenmonoxide, one of the deadliest compounds in the world.
I was teaching about naming ionic compounds and said that "we have one more wrinkle to go through, so take a look at this example with iron" and one girl started cracking up. I didn't understand why so she said we had to iron the wrinkle!
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
That's the power of compound interest.
Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.
While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).
I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)
The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."
I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.
Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)
What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"
Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.
I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)
I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".
I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten... keep reading on reddit ➡
So I was riding home in my car and we were somehow talking about condoms and stopped talking about pubic hair. Then he said "I hate it when the hair gets stuck in the condom. Now that's a compound problem" WHAT THE FUCK DAD!?!?!?!?!?!?