How warm is a janitors closet?
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︎ Nov 14 2020
What do astronauts use to stay warm?
π︎ 16
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︎ Dec 05 2020
My wife keeps insisting that I should warm up before I start exercising.
Sounds like a stretch to me.
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Looks warm
π︎ 66
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︎ Jul 26 2020
Build a man a fire and heβs warm for a day...
...set him on fire and heβs warm the rest of his life.
π︎ 22
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︎ Sep 29 2020
I heard it was warm and cozy inside.
π︎ 11
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︎ Aug 17 2020
A german tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, βhere is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, βare you a vet?β
He said, βvet? Iβm fucking soakingβ
π︎ 10k
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︎ Jan 07 2020
Whenever I can't work because of lack of connectivity, I get a warm fuzzy feeling
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︎ Sep 25 2020
How else would they stay warm all winter?
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︎ Jun 28 2020
Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm jt would be justwater.
π︎ 12k
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︎ Jun 26 2019
2020 came out looking like a warm chocolate chip cookie...
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︎ Jul 05 2020
My wife had a hard day at work, so I drew her a warm bath...
She didn't really seem to appreciate the sketch but it went on the fridge anyway...
Edit: I thunk up a better punchline.
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︎ Apr 09 2020
Just don't serve it warm
π︎ 30
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︎ Apr 10 2020
Today i drank a warm monster or should i say
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 15 2020
[from my 4yo boy] How do you keep warm in a cold room?
Go to the corner there always around 90Β°
π︎ 6
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︎ May 08 2020
Why isnβt the Pacific Ocean warm?
Because itβs bordering on Chile..
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 18 2020
What did the fish say when he rammed into the warm wall?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 22 2020
The key to staying warm is lots of layers
π︎ 21
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︎ Jan 22 2020
My friend keeps insisting that I should always warm up before I start exercising.
I think thatβs a stretch.
π︎ 21
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︎ May 06 2020
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
π︎ 2
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︎ May 07 2020
How warm is the gunk in your eyes after you wake up?
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 21 2020
Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm.
She asked how warm is it inside. I replied Lukewarm.
π︎ 20k
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︎ Feb 05 2018
Wow I was a wreck last night -- t-shirt under sweat clothes, under two cotton sheets, under a polypropylene comforter, and a quilt on top of that! I could NOT get warm!
I can't imagine how miserable I'd be if I didn't have that can of Pringles in the cupboard....
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 20 2019
I recently visited Washington state for the first time. Much to my surprise, it ended up being a warm and sunny day when I arrived! Put on a tank top, threw on some shades, and picked up an iced latte. I took a stroll through the park near the Space Needle and had a wonderful time.
I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle
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︎ Mar 16 2020
BLK, the black bottled water, is best served warm.
If you want it cold, you have to add the AC.
π︎ 12
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︎ Jan 05 2020
How warm is a baby just before their birth?
π︎ 66
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︎ Jul 12 2019
What do you call a warm snowman?
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 27 2019
Can someone tell me if it's true that fishermen put maggots in their mouths in order to warm them up?
Awaiting a reply with baited breath...
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 23 2019
I like the warm weather, it keeps me warm.
This was my warm-up joke.
π︎ 13
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︎ Oct 28 2019
I recently came home from holiday, and my friend asks me: "So, was it warm in Peru?"
I said: "It was actually Chile."
π︎ 47
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︎ Sep 11 2019
You know why I like warm weather? It keeps me warm.
Don't worry, that's just my warm-up joke.
As much as I'd like to claim this as mine, credit goes to a friend of mine for this one.
π︎ 9
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︎ Jul 01 2018
Dad : Son, winter is coming so to keep yourself warm you must wear...
a sweater, cause it will keep yor body sweatier.
Me : (ΰ² _ΰ² )
Dad : Ok, I know this joke socks so I will quilt. You better blanket from your brain.
Me : (ΰ² _ΰ²₯)
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 30 2019
What do Mexicans wear to keep warm this time of year?
π︎ 47
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︎ Dec 25 2018
If you build a man a fire he will be warm for a day.
If you set a man on fire he will be warm for the rest of his life.
π︎ 5k
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︎ Oct 20 2019
Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater
π︎ 13k
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︎ Jun 18 2018
I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm.
She asked how warm is it inside? I said Lukewarm.
π︎ 10
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︎ Dec 24 2019
What do astronauts use to stay warm?
π︎ 33
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︎ Nov 05 2019
How do they keep astronauts warm on the International Space Station?
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 04 2019
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator
Keep it in the corner because it is 90 degree
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 14 2019
How do you keep the ISS warm?
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 26 2019
Justice is best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.
π︎ 12
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︎ Jul 15 2019
Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day...
...set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
π︎ 27
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︎ Sep 08 2019
Give a man a fire, and he's warm for the day
Set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life
π︎ 17
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︎ Jan 04 2019
How warm is a Janitor's closet?
π︎ 12
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︎ Mar 26 2019
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