Global Warming pun spotted on r/memes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tskcool
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
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How do libraries help keep the books warm?

They give them book jackets!

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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Don’t forget to dress warm tomorrow

It’s going to be minus 45.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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Why do we have Global Warming?

Because the Cold War has ended.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danielsoft1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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Give man a match and you'll keep him warm for a minute.

Set man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ricerly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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When I moved into my new igloo, my awesome friends threw me a surprise house-warming party...

but now, I'm homeless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyLoramAtWork
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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Dress warm if you’re in DC today!

It’s minus 45!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/margaritina
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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I would love to get paid to sleep.

It would be a dream job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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What is the best house warming present?

A radiator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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How warm is a janitors closet?

Broom temperature.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...

"Swarm."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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What do astronauts use to stay warm?

A space heater.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hercxjo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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Looks warm
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarlungs110466
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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My wife keeps insisting that I should warm up before I start exercising.

Sounds like a stretch to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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With the global warming raising the sea level, it is only a question of time for England to become Engsea.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matthieunc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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I've started a new band called "Blanket'

We're a cover band

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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I heard it was warm and cozy inside.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LifeisBeautifur
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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A german tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, β€œhere is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, β€œare you a vet?”

He said, β€œvet? I’m fucking soaking”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rohanlahiri05
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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Justice is a dish best served cold...

If it were served warm it would be justwater.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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Whenever I can't work because of lack of connectivity, I get a warm fuzzy feeling

internet must be down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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How else would they stay warm all winter?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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Global Warming?

What a load of rubbish...

Credits: u/expectdaworst

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jjajangbokki
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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When my son was born, I was struggling to come up with a name, so I asked a nurse for a cuppa tea...

When she got back, I asked how warm it is. She replied back with "Luke warm". And that is how earl gray got his name. (Not sure if this one is a dad joke)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peppapig34
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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Why does Bernie wear mittens?

To warm Bernie’s handers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhoKit2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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Did you know global warming is reducing terrorism?

The ISIS melting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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2020 came out looking like a warm chocolate chip cookie...

then BAM oatmeal raisin!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Savannah_P_Frost
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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My wife had a hard day at work, so I drew her a warm bath...

She didn't really seem to appreciate the sketch but it went on the fridge anyway...

Edit: I thunk up a better punchline.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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Do you know who shouldn’t have house warming parties?

Eskimos.

If they have a house warming party their house will melt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Just don't serve it warm
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πŸ‘€︎ u/albanianbitchee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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[from my 4yo boy] How do you keep warm in a cold room?

Go to the corner there always around 90Β°

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πŸ‘€︎ u/123sam321
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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Today i drank a warm monster or should i say

A warmster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoNNeMoPo69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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Why isn’t the Pacific Ocean warm?

Because it’s bordering on Chile..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TacoBananaBlend
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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The key to staying warm is lots of layers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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my friend moved into an igloo

everything was going well until the housewarming party

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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What did the fish say when he rammed into the warm wall?

"Hot dam!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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Global warming will kill every single person on this planet,

It's a good thing I'm married...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tanner_Banner
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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My friend keeps insisting that I should always warm up before I start exercising.

I think that’s a stretch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Don’t forget to dress warm tomorrow

I heard it’s going to be minus 45

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roshiqx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.

Now I’m homeless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Randomguy6282
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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My friends threw a house warming party in my new igloo.

Now, I'm homeless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Build a man a fire and he’s warm for a day...

...set him on fire and he’s warm the rest of his life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepunis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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Justice is a dish best served cold ....

If it were served warm, it would be just water .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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If you build a man a fire he will be warm for a day.

If you set a man on fire he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm jt would be justwater.
πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/domadomdom
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
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Justice is best served cold,

because when you serve it warm, it's justwater

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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Justice is a dish best served cold

If it were served warm it would be justwater.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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