How do libraries help keep the books warm?
They give them book jackets!
Don’t forget to dress warm tomorrow
It’s going to be minus 45.
Give man a match and you'll keep him warm for a minute.
Set man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Dress warm if you’re in DC today!
How warm is a janitors closet?
What do astronauts use to stay warm?
My wife keeps insisting that I should warm up before I start exercising.
Sounds like a stretch to me.
A german tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, “here is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, “are you a vet?”
He said, “vet? I’m fucking soaking”
I heard it was warm and cozy inside.
Whenever I can't work because of lack of connectivity, I get a warm fuzzy feeling
Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm jt would be justwater.
How else would they stay warm all winter?
2020 came out looking like a warm chocolate chip cookie...
My wife had a hard day at work, so I drew her a warm bath...
She didn't really seem to appreciate the sketch but it went on the fridge anyway...
Edit: I thunk up a better punchline.
[from my 4yo boy] How do you keep warm in a cold room?
Go to the corner there always around 90°
Today i drank a warm monster or should i say
The key to staying warm is lots of layers
Why isn’t the Pacific Ocean warm?
Because it’s bordering on Chile..
What did the fish say when he rammed into the warm wall?
My friend keeps insisting that I should always warm up before I start exercising.
I think that’s a stretch.
Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm.
She asked how warm is it inside. I replied Lukewarm.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
How warm is the gunk in your eyes after you wake up?
Wow I was a wreck last night -- t-shirt under sweat clothes, under two cotton sheets, under a polypropylene comforter, and a quilt on top of that! I could NOT get warm!
I can't imagine how miserable I'd be if I didn't have that can of Pringles in the cupboard....
I recently visited Washington state for the first time. Much to my surprise, it ended up being a warm and sunny day when I arrived! Put on a tank top, threw on some shades, and picked up an iced latte. I took a stroll through the park near the Space Needle and had a wonderful time.
I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle
How warm is a baby just before their birth?
BLK, the black bottled water, is best served warm.
If you want it cold, you have to add the AC.
Can someone tell me if it's true that fishermen put maggots in their mouths in order to warm them up?
Awaiting a reply with baited breath...
I like the warm weather, it keeps me warm.
This was my warm-up joke.
You know why I like warm weather? It keeps me warm.
Don't worry, that's just my warm-up joke.
As much as I'd like to claim this as mine, credit goes to a friend of mine for this one.
I recently came home from holiday, and my friend asks me: "So, was it warm in Peru?"
I said: "It was actually Chile."
Don’t forget to dress warm tomorrow
I heard it’s going to be minus 45
Build a man a fire and he’s warm for a day...
...set him on fire and he’s warm the rest of his life.
If you build a man a fire he will be warm for a day.
If you set a man on fire he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater
I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm.
She asked how warm is it inside? I said Lukewarm.
What do astronauts use to stay warm?
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator
Keep it in the corner because it is 90 degree
How do they keep astronauts warm on the International Space Station?
Justice is best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.
How do you keep the ISS warm?
Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day...
...set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
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