originally posted on r/tumblr by u/MaetelofLaMetal
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Technical_Draft9407
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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crosspost from r/dankmemes by u/_hismomoness
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sohailkhan46
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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What do u call a mexican who lost his car?

Carlos

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/marinmarge
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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I was thinking of getting a job at the U.S. Mint

Can you imagine the amount of money I would make?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ShittySoraka
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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Credit to u/cmagnum
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ElricGreywolf
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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Credit to u/soflytaxidermy
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/praying_mantitss
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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What do u call a junkie octopus?

Cracken

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/marinmarge
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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Square root (credit to u/fatfatlama)
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ma5tercraft
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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[Credit to u/Vishalbharadwaj21] I have the high ground
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Python119
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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ah frued..when u say one thing but you meant amother
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/exactlyfuturistic
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll. Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said "we should hurry up, there is a storm comming". So his wife asked "how do u know" and he replied...

"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/13harry09
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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2000โ€™s kids are generation Z and 80โ€™s-90โ€™s kids are generation Y, if we keep going back we get to generation U.

If you have wine from that time is it genuine?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/deaderson
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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Inspired by u/Childhoodcocaine.. Sonic The Hitchcock.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/awesome_smokey
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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If you told me you were a U-shaped stringed instrument

Well, then Iโ€™d say you were a lyre.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Hero_of_Thyme81
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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Why does the rest of the Alphabet find A,E,I,O, and U so annoying?

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Chrisj1616
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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Originally posted by u/UnidentifiedSpecie
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SilentBlackout_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Do you know what they call "the friend zone" in the U.K.?

The pal region.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mortambulist
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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Do u know how the roman empire was cut in half?-------How?-------With a pair of Caesars!!!!
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/st0len_meme
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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What do u call an angle that was beaten up?

A rectangle

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/granolaa_15
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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Found this on r/cursedcomments - the post (by u/Atom596 ) was removed for some reason so I couldn't crosspost but wanted to give the op credit
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RedLeader11037
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Credits to u/plat_playya
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sixDwaffle
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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I need an adult, pls & thank u
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MomentImmortalizer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Using only the letters L H U T S E, how do you tell an investigator to hurry up?

Hustle, Sleuth.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bentnotbroken96
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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If police pull over a U-Haul van

did they bust a move?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lucas_m15
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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What do u call a buffalo that likes both genders?

A bison

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Tritoslp
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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When a clogged drain killed his family, a clog far past the u-bend & far beyond justice, he knew had to take matters into his own filthy hands. He had to become...
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Zagmut
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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What happens when the U.S. Mint stops producing currency?

I donโ€™t know, it makes no sense.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/samrf1202
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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If u get it you get it
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/33billings
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z

Happy No L!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/big_macaroons
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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Mum: I think u need a hearing test dear.

Why would I need a hairy chest?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/R3nNy22326
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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Kudos to u/PriyanshuWestern131
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/aadhar690
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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U have been tested positive for breathtaking
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/assassin_black_dog
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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U took my breath away
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/COZYCARD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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Full credits to u/xibang.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Invalleria
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.

...It was Kief or Southernland.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AquamarineCheetah
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?

Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/drigana
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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How are u doing fellow cool kids
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/note_than62
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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I have a list of puns/bad jokes for every U.S. President reddit.com/gallery/jw48pr
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ThackerOpinions
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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U wait till u see mine !
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Satwik_Pandey
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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U/JBJorr said this in a comment but I thought it deserved its own post โ€œ I pulled a small prank on the elevator

But it escalated quickly

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jcham28
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?

Because they're all not 'C's.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RedPlanetCorridor
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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I'm going to be working on my next dadjoke over the next few days. In the meantime, I'll keep u posted.

u

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KW-DadJoker
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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loaf-i girl. (full credit to u/F-inthechatguy)
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Explodidoshas
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...

did he just bust a move?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Daudelin1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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What would u call Hitler if he got removed of his own dick by operation and put someone else's dick there?

Dic-traitor

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Kestrokapil
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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In an effort to combat climate change, the U.S. Army will no longer allow rabbits to drive vehicles.

This will eliminate 75% of Americaโ€™s car bunny missions.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JiminyKirket
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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The U.K. lockdown is going to end...

in tiers.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/trendfoll
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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After the failure of the wii u

Nintendo decided to switch things up

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/theswagdodo11
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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A little Christmas song. A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L...

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/December_Soul
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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