The ones who came after Neanderthals discovered uranium.

Those were the U mans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bro-mine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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What happens when someone steals uranium?

It becomes theiranium.

πŸ‘︎ 535
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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Not sure if this fits here, is funny or has the sciencing right, but here goes... What do you get if you combine Uranium-235 and potatoes?

Fission chips.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fionfeegle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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Have they taught you the uranium dating technique?

It's Explosive.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Circuited
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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Yttrium, Uranium, Nobelium, Lithium, Potassium, Protactinium, Sulfur, Tantalum?

Y U No LiK PaSTa?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DUCKLOVA709
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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Why did the angler bait his hook with uranium?

He wanted to go nuclear fission!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/expo1001
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
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I bought a new uranium-based alarm clock last week but it's really quiet...

I thought this stuff was supposed to be radio-active!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WillSmithsBoobs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2016
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Who wants to hear a joke about Uranium?

U.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ratcranberries
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2015
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I bought this book but had to return it for all the fowl language
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSonsofAtreus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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I told a joke to a Japanese guy earlier about Sodium and Nickel...

He didn't get it though, so he just said "NaNi?!"

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qwopcircles
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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Punistry!

What did Uranium say to Aluminium and Silicon when they ganged up against it?

β€’ Al-Si-U

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sameer_gulzar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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It’s like Queen without Freddie.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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Chemistry 100
πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Relic045
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
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My son learned about radioactive decay in chemistry class, he was real excited when he got home and had a million questions. He wanted to build a reactor in the back yard. I told him we couldn’t. β€œWhat, are you not smart enough?”

β€œNo U”

I’ll see myself out.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
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A short collection of fresh puns.

Most of this is my own work, if not, it was inspired by something clever!
I hope this will tickle your funnybone and produce a jolly good set of laughs.

A guy didn't register that the wet paint signs about the handrail was still drying, his hand immediately stuck to the rail. My only response to him was, well you see there, it's an application problem, not hardware.

A researcher's obsession with mixing sand, stones, lime and water has started to yield concrete results.

Eyeglass makers who profit well can frame their success.

Joe: I gave the backyard squirrels Christmas presents!
Abby: Are you nuts?
Joe: No, that's what I gave them...

What did the supervisor at the tortilla factory say at the end of a long workday?
That's a wrap!

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. (Insp)

People who don't answer the phone sometimes miss their calling in life.

His words were heavy, but his friends didn't get the gravity of the situ

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2017
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Just got this email from my dad.
πŸ‘︎ 242
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckedAsBored
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2013
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Chemistry Puns

Funny collection of chemistry puns

What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? SWAG


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.


What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.


How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate? A sulfone


What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.


Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!


Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.


Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution!


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state.


How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado’s number.


If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.


What do chemists

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
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Collection of dadness

I am not a dad at the moment, but I've learned the art of pretty clever puns in college. Some are mine, some are spins on inspirations, others are more on the joke side of dad.

What does a radioactive cat have?
18 half-lives

Ventriloquists are like psychiatrists, they both talk through things.

What is my vision?
To make the world 10% better?
No, it's about 20/20...

The invention of the shovel was truly a groundbreaking discovery.

Dad: I invested in some uranium, but I lost money.
Friend: What happened?
Dad: The Profit decayed.

We have received a report of a hole being discovered in the ground, our investigative team is looking into it.

There was an explosion at a local film manufacturing company, the story is still developing as we speak.

A local theater put together an act about jokes.
It was a play on words

SΓΈ, I hΓͺΓ‘rd yΓΆΕ« lΓ¬kΓ« fΓΆrΓ©igΓ± aΓ§Δ‡Δ“Ε„tΕ‘

As an airline mechanic would say, the job has lots of ups and downs.

My New Years re

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
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What happens when someone steals uranium

It becomes theiranium

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aeduss
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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