Two Year Old Puns

"Look at what kids your age make in China!"

Looks like we’ll be spending two weeks behind the fridge.

A Bisontennial!

Looked at me and said "Pop!..." I assumed he was prompting me to sing, so I finished "goes the weasel!" Instead, he looked at me, smiled, and whispered. "No. Pop goes the waffle."

He got his bedtime toaster waffle snack that night.

She just laughs and says, "Silly Daddy, I'm not hungry, I'm Nona." I didn't expect to be a grandfather so soon...

One is a whiny toddler and the other is a tiny waddler...

They're my 9 to 5.

"I'm Avery."

"I'll never talk."

He answered me neigh

Walked into the kitchen with my hammer to hang something up, "What's that, Daddy?" "It's a hammer, buddy." "What are you going to ham?"

Him: "Mommy, I want cookie!"

Mommy: "Can you say please?"

Him: "Yes."

#prouddadtears

Edit Sorry for the messed up hyphen in the title.

She gets to see her buoy-friends.

Me: so what brought you to the states?

Him: An airplane.

My 7 year old daughter started with "What do you call an underwater social network? Fishbook!" My 7 year old son then said "What is the best animal to hit a baseball? A bat!" Mother of god...what have I done?

Him: shovels spaghetti into gob using both hands, smearing spaghetti, olive oil and garlic all over his face

Me: “Well now you’ve gotta pasta face and pasta fingers, I guess I gotta pasta napkin”

My wife: Eye roll

Me - "Maybe you'll be a teacher one day!"

Wife - "A teacher???"

Me - "Well he's already a tutor!"

Me: "Say awe."

Son: with a half open mouth, "Uhhhhhh."

M: "NO. Say awe Big!!!"

S: with same half open mouth, "Uhh big."

GF: "Well, he's not wrong."

She was wearing a tutu. A friend asked her if she was a ballerina.

"No, I Rosie."

My wife: "That's a fair name for it, because it consumes all his attention"

I told her, "You're my daughter".

She said, "No daddy, I'm Chrissy!"

My parents' neighbor asked my two-year old son where he lives now. He promptly said, "In my home."

My two year old was at the kitchen table coloring when I saw her put a crayon in a cup and pretend to drink from it. I then asked her "how was your crayon berry juice?" She just gave me a "Whatever Mom" look and kept coloring. At least my husband laughed at it!

Her mom is going to Reno this weekend and taking her 2 year old this happened

2 year old "I'm going to Reno!"

Me: "Whhaattt are you gonna drink and gamble?"

2 year old: "No I told you I'm going to RENO"

Made me laugh

My father was playing with my two year old son (his grandson) in the yard and was talking to him about birds when they spotted a hummingbird. They were a little ways away from us and didnt even realize that I could hear them talking. My father says... "do you know hummingbirds hum?" to my two year old. Of course my two year, who is just learning to talk, didn't really have a reply. My father then says "CAUSE THEY DONT KNOW THE WORDS". Then he laughed and laughed while my two year old stared at him. Groans could be heard from across the yard.

My father in law passed by the kitchen and said, "Remind me to bring the cooler."

My two year old followed him out of the room and grabbed him yelling, "Daddy Ken! Remember your cooler! "

One is a whiny toddler and the other is a tiny waddler!