A list of puns related to "Two Guys"
...the third guy ducked.
They each got six months.
That was the punchline...
They call him Tom eight toes
They were definitely 'pot-ners in crime'
The cops charged one and let the other one off
Tootincommon
They sit down at the bar and order some drinks after a couple of rounds of drinking the older man yells to the other “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!” everyone in the pub watches the younger guy, worried for the older man. The older man repeats “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!” . The younger guy says “Go home Dad your drunk.”
One says to the other "Time flies." The second guy replies "Can't, they're too fast"
Pierre to Pierre network.
I said, "you're full of crap"
They throw one overboard now the boat is a cigarette lighter
One yells to the other "Hey! How do I get to the other side?"
The other responds "You are on the other side!"
It was a dead heat.
The other one didn’t have a girlfriend either.
I wouldn't mess with him lads. He's a cycle path.
The other replied ‘yes, but not as whisky as wobbing a bank’
Two guys at the funny farm. One guy says, “We can get out of here.”
The other guy says, “We can?”
He says, “Yes.”
The other guy says, “How?”
The first guy says, “I’ve got a big flashlight. Tonight we’ll come out to the wall, I’ll throw the light up against the wall, and you climb up the beam.”
The guy says, “You really think I’m nuts, don’t you? I know what you’d do! I’d get halfway up, you’d shut it off!”
(Editor’s note: Batman fans will recognize this as the final joke in The Killing Joke).
http://red-skelton.info/articles/jokes/two-guys-at-the-funny-farm/
Curt 'n Rod
A Jack off
The first guy says “Let’s go in there for a pint.” Second guy, says, “They won’t let us in with our dogs.” First guy: “Sure they will, just follow my lead.”
You'd think the second guy would have noticed it.
One day, while working on new walls, Mike knocked over a bucket covering John with its contents. Later, when they return to the office, their boss pulls John aside and asks what happened to him, the conversation was as follows:
Boss- What the hell happened to you guys today?
John- Well, Mike kicked the bucket, then I got plastered.
They both got 6 months
Can’t help but think he’s got a lot of time on his hands
The other man replies, "Not as whiskey as whobbing a bank."
The third guy ducks.
(Heard this a long time ago but it’s always made me laugh)
“Quit STALLIN and start PUTIN things in the truck. We’re RUSSIAN over here.”
So they had to walk really close together.
The first guy replies, “Oh, Willy?”
The first guy was named Jim and the second guy was named Joe. They were starving, and dying of thirst. They kept walking in one direction hoping that they would get out of the desert before they died. They had been lost a long time, and it wasn't looking good.
Then, in a stroke of good luck, they found an oasis. In the oasis there was plenty of water and trees growing. On the trees, was every kind of bacon imaginable. Crispy bacon, soft bacon, even Canadian bacon (even though it doesn't really count). Joe says, "I'm going to go eat some bacon."
So Joe goes and gets some bacon out of a low tree.
Just as he takes his first bite, a gremlin jumps out of the foliage, and stabs him in the back with a knife.
Joe is laying on the ground dying, and his friend Jim comes up to him. Joe says in a warning, "Jim run away. It's not safe here!"
"Why not?" Jim asked.
"This oasis isn't what it seems! It isn't a bacon tree, IT'S A HAM-BUSH!!!"
And he died.
The bartender asks, "What's with the bananas?" The guy responds, "What?"
Because he likes dos nuts.
One says "bench press" the other says "dead"... As I walk by I say "elevator"...
Two guys dressed up as a cow for Halloween(top/bottom), later a bank said they where robbed by a guy dressed as a cow. they take the guy who was dressed as the top half of the cow in for questioning and he says "No I swear to God it was the udder guy"
The third guy ducked
The second one should have ducked 🤷♂️
That was the punchline.
They both got 6 months
That was the punchline.
They each got six months.
Came from my dad himself. The definition of a dad joke.
A third guy followed, and ducked underneath.
Kurt and Rod
He throws a cigarette off the boat and the boat becomes...a cigarette lighter
They got six months each
Curt and Rod
They each got six months.
They threw one over board and the boat is now a cigarette lighter.
Kurt and Rod
But the third one ducked.
They each got six months.
You’d think the second guy would have seen it
They threw a cigarette away so that the boat becomes one cigarette lighter
You’d think the second one would have seen it or something.
They each got 6 months.
They each got six months.
You’d think the second one would have seen it.
They have a bunch of cigarettes, but neither of them brought any matches to light them. So one of the guys throws one cigarette off the boat, and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
You'd think the other one would have seen it
The third one ducks
And the third dodges it.
You think the second guy would have ducked.
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