Two guys stole a calendar
They got six months each.
Two guys at a bar order drinks. The first says "I'll have some H2O." The second says "Yeah, I'll have some H2O too."
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".
Two guys walk into a bar
Bartender says "what are you, blind?"
Two extraordinarily large horses were sitting at the bar having a beer. Guy walks in and says to the bartender. "Hey, what's with the Clydesdales?" Bartender says,
Did you hear about the two guys who were prosecuted for plagiarizing a 1920’s German artist’s work?
They went to jail because de stijl.
I was working in our store when my son called me over and said, “Two guys came in and tried to give me some fake fifty dollar bills.” I asked. “What did they look like?” He replied...
Two French IT guys have come up with a new system to share files electronically.
It’s a Pierre to Pierre network.
A guy got two dogs and named them One and Two. One has unfortunately escaped.
But it's ok, he still has Two left.
(Thanks for the joke, dad).
A guy walks into a bar and orders a Corona and two hurricanes
The bartender says, “that’ll be $20.20”
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a truck full of broccoli?
To get away, they really had to floret.
I was working behind the bar today when two guys came in and tried to pay with a couple of counterfeit £10 notes. When I told the manager, he asked what they looked like..
“Like £10 notes” I told him
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight, when one draws a line in the dirt and slurs, “If you cross this, I’ll hit you in the face.”
/r/Jokes/comments/jx9abu/…
Did you guys hear the one about the two peanuts walking down the street?
One of them was a salted.
Two guys walk into a bar
You’d think the second guy would’ve ducked
Overheard two guys at the gym this morning.
Guy 1: Bro could you pass me that pamphlet?
Guy 2: Bro, sure
Two guys lined up to fight each other.
Two guys walked into a bar, so I raised it a little.
A guy told me he’d give me $5 if I could tell him two things that hold water. I though for a minute then said....
True Story - I saw a guy walking along with two huge mattresses strapped to his rucksack...
...I thought, at least he has something to fall back on.
A guy walked into a bar in New Orleans and ordered a Corona Extra and two Hurricanes.
The bartender said "that'll be $20.20"
Two gay surfer guys walk into a bar...
They came in search of their adopted child. They ask the bartender, “Hey, have you seen a small boy wandering around town looking lost? Sandy hair, blue eyes? He wandered off while we were catching some waves.” The bartender thinks for a second, then shakes his head and says, “Nope, sorry bros. I just clocked in, but my coworker Fred is packing up now if you wanna check with him. He’s the one with the mustache by the door.”
The couple walk over to the mustached man putting on a coat getting ready to leave, and inquire the same thing from him. Fred replies, “Now that you mention it, I think he came up to the counter a little while ago looking for you guys. I told him to come back in about 20 minutes when my shift ends so I can help him look around, but that was like half an hour ago. I’ve been waiting a little while, but I was just getting ready to leave.”
Suddenly, the man points behind the surfer guys and exclaims, “Here comes the son, Dude and Dude 2!”
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage and values.
Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"
Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name"!
Two guys are talking about trying to find a girlfriend.
One guy asks the other:
“What about Stacy?”
“With an I?”
“Yeah, she’s got two”
Just lost two precious pets, Jeremiah and Thomas. Gonna miss you little guys
What do you call two Egyptian guys farting at the same time?
Two guys were arrested for stealing a single calendar
They both got six months.
How do two French guys share files electronically?
Pierre to Pierre network.
Two guys stole a calendar.
They got six months each.
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
Two guys walk in to a bar.
Two Guys Walked Into A Bar....
Two guys stole a calendar
A guy walks into a Bourbon street bar and asks for a Corona and two Hurricanes.
Bartender says: that’ll be $20.20
Two guys walked into a bar.
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, “If you cross this line, I’ll hit you in the face.”
Two guys walked into a bar...
And the other guy ducked.
What happened to the two guys who stole a calendar ?
They got six months each.
Two guys walked into a bar...
Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face."
Two guys walk into a bar...
The second one should have ducked 🤷♂️
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