What do you call troubled water?
H2-uh-O
This was got a gigantic room of groans and eye-rolling at a department meeting today when my boss said it. Tried a search for it here and did not see it so wanted to spread the eye rolls!
If you’re troubled, whats on your mind is eating you. If you’re troubled my zombies, they’re eating what’s on your mind.
Half a dozen Indians separated from Hinduism to join another religion. Unfortunately, this troubled them greatly and they fell ill when they branched off into their own religious group.
If you want to join you need to seek six sick Sikhs sect.
I've written a play about a troubled teen who gets drunk on mexican beer and blinds a bunch of horses. It's called . . . .
What do you call an alligator that always tries to stir up trouble
why do children have trouble looking at their parents after a gender change?
Because parents become Trans-parent
In recent news, a giant had a troubling discovery when he returned home from work.
After discovering he'd been given a parking ticket, the giant exclaimed in disappointment as he approached his house. This startled a burglar inside, causing him to flee from the property but not before trapping his stubby digit in the door, causing him to leave blood at the scene. Thankfully, the giant's powerful nasal abilities allowed him to aid police as he was able to detected the exact nationality and gender of the robber in question. When interviewed, the giant simplified the story for us by saying,
"Fee, Fie, Foe, Thumb, I smell the blood of an English Man."
I’m having trouble making decisions today...
I’m not really sure how I feel about that.
The teacher caught me stirring up trouble in chemistry class...
...so she sent me home with a colloidal suspension.
Why did the egyptians have trouble with acceptance?
Because the were in de-Nile.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
I'm having trouble finding out what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals!
Why do Australian bees never get into trouble?
Because they always beehive
Made a wooden car with a wooden engine only trouble was
Smokey the bear was having trouble finding a date.
I guess he was afraid to use tinder.
Batman gets word that somebody is in trouble and needs to be rescued quick...
Batman: Robin! Quick! Go get the Batmobile!
Robin: Sure thing, Batman!
A few minutes later...
Robin: The Batmobile won't start. In fact, it won't even turn over!
Batman: Check the battery.
Robin: What's a tery?
A Navy captain got in trouble for ordering an anchor much too large for his ship
Why did the hand have trouble using its watch?
Every time I finish my jog, I like to eat a protein bar. Lately, though, I'm having trouble swallowing it
I hope it doesn't become a running gag
I ran into the vets this morning and said to the blonde receptionist, "Quick, I think my daughters hamster is in serious trouble".
"Hamster?" she laughed, "That's a snake".
Did you know Jeff Bezos has trouble sleeping?
Unless he has his pajamazon
Went to my doctor and said I was having trouble with my hearing.
He asked: “can you describe the symptoms?”
I said: “sure, they’re yellow. Marge has blue hair and Homer’s really fat”.
The guy who invented the Hokey Pokey died last week.
Turns out they had a lot of trouble putting him in his coffin. Because everytime they put his right leg in, he put his right leg out.
If you ever have trouble doing math.
You can always count on a calculator.
I’m really having trouble with my eyesight
The worst of it is that I can’t see my optimitrist
I still don't understand why I got in trouble in high school for turning in my Biology lab notebook with a turd in it.
The teacher told us specifically to keep a log in our notebook!
[META] Dad jokes should be clean, not just groan-inducing. That's what makes it a Dad joke, we can tell it to the kids in front of Mom and not get in trouble (other than maybe for the punchline).
My wife sometimes has trouble thinking of the right word for things. This morning, she asked me "what's it called when you have no bars?" Without missing a beat, I told her...
"Prohibition." She wasn't as amused as I was, I'm afraid.
A man attacked an employee at a Starbucks
The crime was considered a coffee mug.
My Dalmatian has trouble sleeping
What is a witches favorite gum?
What film do you make when Batman is in trouble?
I came out to my Car this morning, and it was completely covered in fallen leaves..
..you could call it an Autumnobile now !
I have no trouble holding my alcohol
unless the glass is slippery
I was having trouble getting our kid buckled into a new carseat...
When I was a child, I had trouble memorizing multiplication tables.
There I was this morning, sitting and drinking Coffee in my slippers , and I thought to myself..
..I really need to clean a few mugs around here.
Why did the ram get in trouble for insulting the female sheep?
Cause he called her an ew!
What do you call a woman who loves to cook up trouble?
I’m reading a horror book in Braille.
Something bad is going to happen.
I can feel it.
What do you call a performer who has trouble sleeping?
Why do people have trouble sleeping?
It's so easy. I can do it with my eyes closed.
If you're having trouble connecting your bluetooth device, just dress in green, sit on a perch and repeat everything that tech support tells you.
It's the only way to parrot.
My Bro-in-law cracks me up XD
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?
A car battery was arrested by the cops for causing trouble at the bar
But they had to let him go, they couldn’t find anything to charge him with.
My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldn’t open any of the files.
I always have trouble with emotional attachments.
My therapist told me that I have trouble interpreting social cues.
I think she’s in love with me.
How did the Figure Skater know he was about to get in trouble?
Ladies: If you think your man has trouble "opening up,"
What happens when an artist has trouble finding inspiration ?
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
