They are having a wheel problem at the station
Which kind of car problem is worse:
How many problems do people have with Comcast?
What’s the problem with not remembering something?
The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”
I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
How did the constipated accountant solve his problem?
He worked it out with a pencil.
I went to a bookstore and saw a book titled "How to solve 50% of your problems".
I heard that Tiger Wood's car accident was caused by a problem with his tires...
Where do you put your problems when going to the office?
I always take my problems to Tommy
I have finale cracked the most difficult problem. I now know all the digits of pi.
found on fb but someone had a little problem
I love archery but it has one problem.
There are too many drawbacks.
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems
My kid told me he had a problem. He was afraid of the toilet, but really had to go poop.
I told him it'll work itself out.
What angle should you approach a problem from?
The right angle. If that’s not an option, then the try-angle.
P.S. This joke comes courtesy of my 8 year old son. I’m floored.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You are in here a lot, do you think you have a drinking problem?"
The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by René Descartes.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
We know the Panama has had its problems, and the Suez had that ship stuck recently, but my co-worker must know of another problematic waterway. Every day he yells out...
‘Far Canal. I hate this place’.
Got a problem? Just ask Tommy....
I don’t know why everyone seem to have a problem with vegans.
I have never had a beef with one.
What did the Egyptian crocodile do with the problems in his life?
Nothing, he lived in da-nile
First post here... the first world problems version of a STRAY ROCKET 🚀
Do you know the problem with fashion nazis?
They're always arguing over who has the best jeans
What do you call it when someone bellow the age of 18 has a problem
I went to my doctor today and told him I was having problems with my hearing. He asked, “Can you describe the symptoms?” I replied, "Sure..."
“They’re yellow, Homer’s fat, and Marge has blue hair.”
What do you call a problem with the machinery at a mall?
I was having problems with the printer at work last week and I had to ring the engineer. I told him that I kept putting paper in to the printer but the display kept saying it just can't get enough...
The engineer said "ah yes.... it's stuck in Depeche Mode"....
My school had a big problem with drugs
The problem with models
… is they’re all such posers.
I went to see my doctor about my bowel problem.
He said, "What's the problem?"
I said, "Well, lately I've been measuring the length of my bowel movements, and they are considerably smaller than what they should be. About 8.5 centimetres smaller, in fact."
He said, "Sounds to me like you need to get out more."
Why a math problem behaved poorly?
Happy New Year fellow dad jokesters! For 2021, I’m going to turn all of my problems into opportunities.
Starting with my severe drinking opportunity
What do you call an actor with money problems?
The problem with Michael Jackson puns is
You don't stop till you get enough
TIL that AL Gore created a problem-solving program that did complex calculations once every half-second.
It was an AL Gore rhythm.
I have a problem with the mittens I got for Christmas.
They only work inter-mitten-ly.
As I expected, my therapist told me that I have a problem verbalizing my emotions.
I have a problem with over-engineered large buildings.
It's a complex complex complex.
Vulture Problems (and apologies to Kansas)
The Prince of the vultures had always been a rebel, but he surprised everyone when he announced he was going to be a vegetarian. And nobody expected this to divide the vulture kingdom, with nearly half the vultures supporting the Prince's choice. Tempers flared, and civil war was brewing when the Prince burst into the King's chambers.
"Father," he cried, "I never meant to cause this. I'll do anything you say to reunite the kingdom. Please, Father, what should I eat?"
The King set a plate of roadkill in front of the Prince, and said "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done."
Did you hear that they're replacing two letters of the alphabet? Instead of T, you have to say "Clowns". Instead of V, you need to say "Jokers". I refuse to use them, but I was singing the alphabet when they changed them, so I have a problem...
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with U.
I'm 6 foot 6 inches (~196cm) and I recently found the cause for my back problems.
Almost everyone looks up to me. Being a role model to that many people is a lot of weight for one to carry on their shoulders.
How did the constipated Accountant solve his problem?
He worked it out with a pencil!
The salesman at the furniture store told me, "This sofa will seat 5 people without any problem."
I said, "Where the fuck am I going to find 5 people without any problems?"
The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”
I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
Me: Doc, I have hearing problems
Doc: Could you describe the symptoms?
Me: Marge has blue hair and Homer is a fat guy
What did the Egyptian crocodile do about the problems in his life?
Nothing. He lived in de-nile.
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