My friend doesn’t think puns are funny, so I told him my top ten to see if any could make him laugh.

No pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 256
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Pun-ishing rant to those who think puns aren't funny, for them to use as an example.

I wanna punt all the spunky diction pundits, that attempt to expunge the joy from punsters, right in their puny footballs. They're punks who attempt to puncture holes in our word play, finding it punitive to their, self described, punticulously crafted humor. The pungent smell of their looming punishment is in the air . Now is the punctual time to place the punctuation on this punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickToThaDiculous
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Some people think puns are derivative, my Aunt & I take them pretty series-ously

95% of conversations between me & my aunt turn into pun wars.

Enjoy!

https://i.imgur.com/aGooknb.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blissando
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Doctor: I think your DNA is backwards.

ME: ...And?

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoldaHolda
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Don't think too much
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Birthday_Euphoric
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Just think about a calcu-forth
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nis_sama
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I think joule really likes this joke
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HenkBlok
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
While at a restaurant, the waitress was totally flirting with me with my wife present. After she walked away, my wife said β€œShe obviously has COVID!” β€œWhy would you think that?” I asked.

β€œBecause she has no taste.”

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I think my cat is Communist

All he ever says is Mao

πŸ‘︎ 127
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I don't think it's any faster
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I think of this whenever I hear the term IV drip
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MOO0505
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What does a dad do when he thinks of new jokes?

He tries them on for sighs.

πŸ‘︎ 187
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lankyjay16
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Bruh can't think of a good title
πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RajanyaDaslol
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Some people think Steve jobs would be a better president than Donald Trump

But you can't really compare apples to oranges.

πŸ‘︎ 171
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I got a girlfriend by pretending that I play football. My friends don't think it's going to last but I don't worry.

She thinks that I'm a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 106
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elasmotheriums
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I think space exploration is a waste of time.

There are many better things to do for leisure than stare at a computer keyboard all day.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I Made this today i think it belongs here I couldn't stop laughing while making it πŸ˜‚
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxCandy_floofxx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.

She looked me dead in the eye and said, β€œWindow or aisle?” I laughed in her face and replied, β€œWindow or you’ll what?”

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nandos677
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you think the unthinkable?

With an itheberg!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Qualekk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I think my wife is covering my rifle collection with glue.

She's denying it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
You might think being injected with antivirus sounds boring

But it's really quite vaccinating

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tapobu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I think it's time I stopped grinding my own cheese.

It's for the grater good

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarheel6793
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Do you think glass coffins will ever be a thing?

Remains to be seen.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hallsguide
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I think I killed him..
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acryllicsmoke
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I think sex education is a great idea in schools.

I just don't think the kids should be given homework.

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I think Rick Astley should've been the captain of the ship

He wouldn't have Ever Given up.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.

After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.

πŸ‘︎ 328
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the footballer's girlfriend think when she saw him standing between some goal posts?

"He's a keeper"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad

Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fun-Ad2896
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
My monkey friend says that he can use martial arts to fight off disease. I think he's tricking me and he says

Ape will fu ills

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrueAidooo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
You might not think engineers are brave...

But it took balls of steel to make the first bearings.

πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I know you may not think camping is fun.

But it’s in tents.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoldaHolda
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Ever stop and think about how your car muffler reduces engine noise?

It's baffling.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapNBall1851
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
A man walks into his doctor’s office and says, β€œDoctor, I think I’m addicted to Twitter.”

The doctor looks at him and says, β€œSorry, I don’t follow you."

πŸ‘︎ 790
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife thinks I don't respect her privacy...

At least that's what her diary says.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hallsguide
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I got tired trying to think of a good posting title for this one.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I think my sink is a little clogged
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeacesOfTheWorld
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Newton think when he discovered gravity?

Shit is about to go down.

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sarlock-_1234
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
A priest giving a children's sermon on vestments asked, "Why do you think I wear this collar?"

One kid answered, "Because it kills fleas and ticks for upto 30 days."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Those who think the COVID-19 vaccine will modify their DNA

Should see it as an opportunity

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wibie90
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife uses nasal spray a lot, to the point we think she is addicted to it. I tried to send her to rehab, but she didn't like it.

She said it was just a bunch of stuffy people.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tilt-a-whirly-gig
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Bird seed costs $25. Some people think it's expensive.

But I think it's cheep cheep cheep

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peterburk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I couldn’t think of any original chemistry jokes

They Argon.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids

then it behooves you to become a centaur.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/twitchard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
People don’t think the grass be wet in the morning

But it Dew

πŸ‘︎ 185
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πŸ‘€︎ u/streety22
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
"Son, do you think we should find an expert to guide us in our trek up Mt. Everest?"

"Sure, pa."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/logansworth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I... I think imma cry 😒
πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWizardSquirrel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Steak puns are difficult to think of...

Its a rare medium well done.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdb12345
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I think my postman is an organ donor.

His truck says, β€œWe deliver for you.”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reedandsue
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Some people think grass isn't wet in the morning.

But it dew

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CyberSARL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report

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