My friend doesn’t think puns are funny, so I told him my top ten to see if any could make him laugh.
Pun-ishing rant to those who think puns aren't funny, for them to use as an example.
I wanna punt all the spunky diction pundits, that attempt to expunge the joy from punsters, right in their puny footballs. They're punks who attempt to puncture holes in our word play, finding it punitive to their, self described, punticulously crafted humor. The pungent smell of their looming punishment is in the air . Now is the punctual time to place the punctuation on this punchline.
Some people think puns are derivative, my Aunt & I take them pretty series-ously
95% of conversations between me & my aunt turn into pun wars.
Enjoy!
https://i.imgur.com/aGooknb.jpg
Doctor: I think your DNA is backwards.
Just think about a calcu-forth
I think joule really likes this joke
While at a restaurant, the waitress was totally flirting with me with my wife present. After she walked away, my wife said “She obviously has COVID!” “Why would you think that?” I asked.
“Because she has no taste.”
I think my cat is Communist
I don't think it's any faster
I think of this whenever I hear the term IV drip
What does a dad do when he thinks of new jokes?
He tries them on for sighs.
Bruh can't think of a good title
Some people think Steve jobs would be a better president than Donald Trump
But you can't really compare apples to oranges.
I got a girlfriend by pretending that I play football. My friends don't think it's going to last but I don't worry.
She thinks that I'm a keeper.
I think space exploration is a waste of time.
There are many better things to do for leisure than stare at a computer keyboard all day.
I Made this today i think it belongs here I couldn't stop laughing while making it 😂
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?”
I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
How do you think the unthinkable?
I think my wife is covering my rifle collection with glue.
She's denying it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
You might think being injected with antivirus sounds boring
But it's really quite vaccinating
I think it's time I stopped grinding my own cheese.
Do you think glass coffins will ever be a thing?
I think sex education is a great idea in schools.
I just don't think the kids should be given homework.
I think Rick Astley should've been the captain of the ship
He wouldn't have Ever Given up.
My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.
After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.
What did the footballer's girlfriend think when she saw him standing between some goal posts?
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
My monkey friend says that he can use martial arts to fight off disease. I think he's tricking me and he says
You might not think engineers are brave...
But it took balls of steel to make the first bearings.
I know you may not think camping is fun.
Ever stop and think about how your car muffler reduces engine noise?
A man walks into his doctor’s office and says, “Doctor, I think I’m addicted to Twitter.”
The doctor looks at him and says, “Sorry, I don’t follow you."
My wife thinks I don't respect her privacy...
At least that's what her diary says.
I got tired trying to think of a good posting title for this one.
I think my sink is a little clogged
What did Newton think when he discovered gravity?
Shit is about to go down.
A priest giving a children's sermon on vestments asked, "Why do you think I wear this collar?"
One kid answered, "Because it kills fleas and ticks for upto 30 days."
Those who think the COVID-19 vaccine will modify their DNA
Should see it as an opportunity
My wife uses nasal spray a lot, to the point we think she is addicted to it. I tried to send her to rehab, but she didn't like it.
She said it was just a bunch of stuffy people.
Bird seed costs $25. Some people think it's expensive.
But I think it's cheep cheep cheep
I couldn’t think of any original chemistry jokes
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids
then it behooves you to become a centaur.
People don’t think the grass be wet in the morning
"Son, do you think we should find an expert to guide us in our trek up Mt. Everest?"
Steak puns are difficult to think of...
Its a rare medium well done.
I think my postman is an organ donor.
His truck says, “We deliver for you.”
Some people think grass isn't wet in the morning.
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