Scientists have developed a microscopic needle that is too small to be seen by the naked eye...
I just don't see the point.
What did scientists call the shovel when it was first created?
A ground-breaking discovery
The rocket scientists finally figured out what when wrong with their missile launch ...
Turns out it was a case of projectile dysfunction.
Why did the bacterial scientist quit his job?
Did you hear about the fashionable scientist who can design your baby to your specifications?
They are always bragging about their designer jeans
Scientists developed a male birth control gel but it only targets the X/Y chromosome
Theyre calling it "Son-Block"
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
Scientists have recently recorded the sounds of two helium atoms laughing
When the scientist wanted to clone a deer ...
he bought a doe it yourself kit.
Scientists have discovered that bees are learning to conserve energy by gliding on the air...
They think they're evolving into frisbees.
A scientist sits down with some colleagues at the lab cafeteria:
"Oh hi Bill! We were just discussing the promiscuous mating habits of blood-sucking arachnids." Bill abruptly grabs his tray and stands up to leave.
"Sorry guys. I don't discuss poly ticks at work."
Scientists got bored after watching the Earth turn after 24 hours
Archaeologists found traces of Trinitrotoluene in a T-Rex skeleton. Scientists have since determined that T-Rex's muscles used the compound to function.
Scientists have discovered a new element in the periodic table.
The element will be represented by the letters AH. This is of course the element of surprise.
Scientists recently performed an experiment to figure out the gender of an ant. They would place them in a tub of water.
If they sank, girl ant. If they floated, buoyant.
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..
But they concluded a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better
Early scientists would watch the world spin for 24 hours...
Then they got bored and called it a day.
Scientists have discovered the trick STIs use to spread in Alabama
Mum-to-sis
If this isn't original then I seriously spent a whole 20 mins on nothing
I boasted to my son, "Did you know scientists discovered that the brains of male parents irreversibly change after their first child was born?" He rolled his eyes and ignored me, but I carried on...
A scientist walks into a lab to pick up a dozen beakers for a new experiment he’s been working on, and the lab clerk hands him 13 upon his arrival. “13?”, the scientist asks, “I wanted a dozen!”
The lab clerk says “I thought you wanted a beakers dozen!”
In a freak accident the laboratory sink came to life, made its way to the mad scientist's door and knocked.
Why do scientists chew gum all the time?
Because they like ex-spearmints.
What did the optimistic scientist say when he woke up?
Scientists have noticed that patients who have the cold feel better on Saturdays and Sundays.
It’s the weekend immune system.
What happened to the scientist when he broke the speed of light?
Why did the scientist researching death and the afterlife kill himself?
He was dying to know what happens.
Why did the scientist eat photons after lunch?
What did the short American scientist say to the tall British scientist?
“You’re pretty Fahrenheit.”
Scientists are studying the effect of drugs on various seabirds.
They're leaving no tern unstoned.
Scientists found that the nervous system doesn't actually exist.
It's just a lack of the confidence system.
Did you hear about the scientists who discovered there are bank clerks on the moon?
They saw them through their teller-scopes.
"He's the most foul mouthed person to ever live!" screamed the scientist who cloned himself and later tried to throw the clone off the roof.
He was arrested for attempting to make an obscene clone fall.
Breaking news: Scientists have discovered a new element that disappears and reappears at random times. They have called it the element of...
What did the scientist say when he found two atoms of helium?
HeHe.
my biology teacher told this one in class today.
i was the only student that found it genuinely funny.
the class was silent, besides me. i was laughing. really hard.
:'(
What did the scientists say while freezing at absolute zero?
Scientists have determined exactly what will spell the end of the world
What did the scientist do when he was cold?
Scientists and programmers have gotten together to write computer code that will not only warn of future global warming but also take credit for inventing the internet.
It's an new Al-Gore-rithm
The problem with atmospheric scientists
is that they always seem to have their head in the clouds.
I made the mistake of drinking the liquid from a scientist’s test tube.
Scientists are saying salads are soon to be a thing of the past.
Scientists record the sound of two helium atoms laughing.
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..
But a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better.
When the scientist wanted to clone a deer ..
he bought a doe it yourself kit.
Scientists got bored watching the earth turn, so after 24 hours
Why did the scientist eat photons after lunch?
Scientist studying the effect of cannabis on seabirds, have left no tern unstoned.
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