My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so

A subreddit.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2021
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My wife saw me drinking from a Halloween skull the other day

Wife: who’s skull is that

Me: a man named Phillip

Wife: what’s in it?

Me: vodka and orange juice.

Wife: .......

Me: it’s a Phillips head screwdriver

πŸ‘οΈŽ 200
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I_eat_unwiped_ass
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2021
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I was walking with my son the other day...

He picked up an acorn and asked me what it was. I told him it was a tree. He said really? I said, well in a nutshell yes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 858
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Evening_Flatworm5850
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 06 2021
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A policeman pulled me over the other day and started crying as he was writing me a traffic ticket. I asked him why was he crying?

He said it was because I committed a moving violation.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 374
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 28 2021
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Why did the one FBI agent say to the other?

>!This post has been removed for security reasons!<

πŸ‘οΈŽ 149
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13 2021
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Went to the zoo the other day.

The only animal they had was a dog. It was a shitzu.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 117
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dsrange431
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 08 2021
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Two Deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says

β€œI can’t believe I blew 40 bucks in there”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2021
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I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!

Then I realised I was playing the bee side.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 295
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cheifsup
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2021
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What did one butt cheek say to the other one?

"If we keep it together, we can stop this shit!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 98
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2021
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Why don't the Jedi take off their shirts to greet each other?

Because only a Sith deals in ab salutes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GrandMoffTarkan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16 2020
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Two wind turbines are standing in a wind farm..one turns to the other and says β€œwhat’s your favorite kind of music?”

He replied β€œI’m a big metal fan!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 94
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/maniamadd
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2021
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I went to a Ford dealership the other day looking for a specific model. The salesman told me they didn’t have what I was looking for and that I wasn’t allowed to leave.

There was no Escape.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Evilmd
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2021
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I had to replace a broken window the other day.

What a pane.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 67
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bringdirt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2021
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What did the Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer?

Cool Ranch.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 241
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/strangerthingskids
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 21 2021
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I threw a Duracell at someone's head the other day and it cracked his skull

I was arrested and charged with battery

πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/blueandgoldilocks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2021
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I was telling Dad jokes the other day.

Turned around, and realized it was Mom.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 45
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2021
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If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, all the other guests are supposed to pretend as if nothing happened.

Noble gases have no reaction.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 655
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2021
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Was watching Arrested Development the other day and my girlfriend made a groaner of a dad joke.

Lucille: β€œI have to get Dusty ice cream.” GF: β€œDusty ice cream doesn’t sound very good”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hoff323
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2021
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What did one eye say to the other eye?

Between you and me, something smells.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Imnotadumbguy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2021
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A guy stopped me in the street the other day to ask why I was carrying a 9ft book.

I said "It's a long story".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 68
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2021
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I told a joke about hemorrhoids in a hospital the other day.

It didn't sit well with some of the patients.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 48
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Equivalent_Night5900
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2021
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I went to the park the other day and saw a guy flying one of those tiny RC quadcopters.

I asked him about it and that was a mistake. He just kept droning on and on!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/turkyman3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2021
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I saw two snails fighting the other day.

They were really slugging it out.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Farmer808
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15 2021
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer the other day. I don’t know what he laced them with but, I’ve been tripping all day....
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ArtOfPuns
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 08 2021
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I met a dolphin the other day,

We just clicked

πŸ‘οΈŽ 73
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The-MEGA-O
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2021
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Came up with this one while writing an Undertale fanfic. What did one flower say to the other?

"You better stop your dandelion, or you'll be the baneberry of my existence!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VictoryStar22
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2021
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Why did the 3 want to hook up with the other 3?

Because of the six appeal.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SuperMario1313
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2021
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2 muffins baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says "Gosh, it's hot in here". The other replies;

"AAAAHH! TALKING MUFFIN!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jdbsplashum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2021
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What did one fish say to the other fish?

How should I know? I dont speak fish

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ausmedic80
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2021
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Text message conversation with my dad the other day, where I out-dadded him.

Dad: Give me your best knock knock joke. Or jokes. Do it when you can no rush.

Me: Does it have to be a knock knock joke or can it be any joke?

Dad: Knock Knock.

Me: Who’s there?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NC0828
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2020
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Saw 3 Mexicans in my backyard the other day.

They were tres passing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2021
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I saw Kate Middleton's sister leaving a plastic surgeon's office the other day, but I can't tell you what work she had done.

That would be a Pippa violation.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tvkyle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 08 2021
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Why do I feel healthy on Saturdays and Sundays, and so sickly for all the other days ?

Maybe, I just have a weekend immune system.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 73
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2021
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Recently, I've been driving my wife crazy with how many friends named Fred I've been making, and they all look the same, no less. That said, one day a man rang our bell, and my wife, relieved that he did not look like my other friends, asked who he was, to which a replied:

"Don't worry, Honey, he's just another Fred of mine."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xoriatis71
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15 2021
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I ate a watch the other day

It was time consuming. I ended up going back for seconds.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/erajter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2021
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I posted something on here the other day and didn’t get a single upvote

I guess nobody Reddit.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
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What did the Jeeps say after crashing into each other?

Oh Jeepers

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mouthybard25364
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2021
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Went camping the other day

it was in tents

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/makecents91
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2021
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What did one ocean say to the other?

They didn’t say anything; they just waved.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ChocolateChip2019
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 09 2021
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What did one smoking pipe say to the other smoking pipe?

Don’t go ashtray

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rethinkr
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2021
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What did the chicken say to the other chicken covered in spice?

"Jerk."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LovesMusic25
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2021
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Someone the other day asked me what empathy is

I told him I don’t know

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2021
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I wrote a book about armadillo shells the other day

It’s a hard back

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/No-Neighborhood-8556
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2021
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I saw a whole shelf of soy milk at the store the other day.

It's great that they've enabled milk to properly introduce themselves to customers.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/flashblazer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 04 2021
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My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so

A subreddit.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 112
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2021
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I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!

Then I realised I was playing the bee side.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ClaraLaraMeadie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 02 2021
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these two wind turbines were standing in the field talking. one says to the other, "what kind of music do you like?" the reply...

"I'm a big metal fan"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/niftyww
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2021
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What did one eye say to the other eye?

"I think there's something in between us that smells"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/trashconverters
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2021
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Got a vinyl album the other day on wasp sounds. Played it, didn't sound anything like wasps!

Turns out I was playing the bee side

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/2canVANdam
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report

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