My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
ποΈ 14k
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οΈ Mar 12 2021
My wife saw me drinking from a Halloween skull the other day
Wife: whoβs skull is that
Me: a man named Phillip
Wife: whatβs in it?
Me: vodka and orange juice.
Wife: .......
Me: itβs a Phillips head screwdriver
ποΈ 200
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οΈ Mar 16 2021
I was walking with my son the other day...
He picked up an acorn and asked me what it was. I told him it was a tree. He said really? I said, well in a nutshell yes.
ποΈ 858
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οΈ Mar 06 2021
A policeman pulled me over the other day and started crying as he was writing me a traffic ticket. I asked him why was he crying?
He said it was because I committed a moving violation.
ποΈ 374
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οΈ Feb 28 2021
Why did the one FBI agent say to the other?
>!This post has been removed for security reasons!<
ποΈ 149
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οΈ Mar 13 2021
Went to the zoo the other day.
The only animal they had was a dog. It was a shitzu.
ποΈ 117
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οΈ Mar 08 2021
Two Deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says
βI canβt believe I blew 40 bucks in thereβ
ποΈ 1k
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οΈ Feb 02 2021
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didnβt sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
ποΈ 295
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οΈ Mar 03 2021
What did one butt cheek say to the other one?
"If we keep it together, we can stop this shit!"
ποΈ 98
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οΈ Mar 11 2021
Why don't the Jedi take off their shirts to greet each other?
Because only a Sith deals in ab salutes.
ποΈ 14k
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οΈ Dec 16 2020
Two wind turbines are standing in a wind farm..one turns to the other and says βwhatβs your favorite kind of music?β
He replied βIβm a big metal fan!β
ποΈ 94
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οΈ Mar 03 2021
I went to a Ford dealership the other day looking for a specific model. The salesman told me they didnβt have what I was looking for and that I wasnβt allowed to leave.
ποΈ 24
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οΈ Mar 09 2021
I had to replace a broken window the other day.
ποΈ 67
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οΈ Mar 14 2021
What did the Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer?
ποΈ 241
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οΈ Feb 21 2021
I threw a Duracell at someone's head the other day and it cracked his skull
I was arrested and charged with battery
ποΈ 43
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οΈ Mar 11 2021
I was telling Dad jokes the other day.
Turned around, and realized it was Mom.
ποΈ 45
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οΈ Mar 09 2021
If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, all the other guests are supposed to pretend as if nothing happened.
Noble gases have no reaction.
ποΈ 655
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οΈ Jan 10 2021
Was watching Arrested Development the other day and my girlfriend made a groaner of a dad joke.
Lucille: βI have to get Dusty ice cream.β
GF: βDusty ice cream doesnβt sound very goodβ
ποΈ 22
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οΈ Feb 25 2021
What did one eye say to the other eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
ποΈ 43
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οΈ Feb 15 2021
A guy stopped me in the street the other day to ask why I was carrying a 9ft book.
I said "It's a long story".
ποΈ 68
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οΈ Mar 03 2021
I told a joke about hemorrhoids in a hospital the other day.
It didn't sit well with some of the patients.
ποΈ 48
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οΈ Feb 25 2021
I went to the park the other day and saw a guy flying one of those tiny RC quadcopters.
I asked him about it and that was a mistake.
He just kept droning on and on!
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Mar 10 2021
I saw two snails fighting the other day.
They were really slugging it out.
ποΈ 14
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οΈ Mar 15 2021
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer the other day. I donβt know what he laced them with but, Iβve been tripping all day....
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Mar 08 2021
I met a dolphin the other day,
ποΈ 73
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οΈ Feb 26 2021
Came up with this one while writing an Undertale fanfic. What did one flower say to the other?
"You better stop your dandelion, or you'll be the baneberry of my existence!"
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Mar 14 2021
Why did the 3 want to hook up with the other 3?
Because of the six appeal.
ποΈ 38
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οΈ Feb 25 2021
2 muffins baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says "Gosh, it's hot in here". The other replies;
"AAAAHH! TALKING MUFFIN!"
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Mar 14 2021
What did one fish say to the other fish?
How should I know? I dont speak fish
ποΈ 24
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οΈ Feb 23 2021
Text message conversation with my dad the other day, where I out-dadded him.
Dad: Give me your best knock knock joke. Or jokes. Do it when you can no rush.
Me: Does it have to be a knock knock joke or can it be any joke?
Dad: Knock Knock.
Me: Whoβs there?
ποΈ 16k
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οΈ Oct 09 2020
Saw 3 Mexicans in my backyard the other day.
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Mar 10 2021
I saw Kate Middleton's sister leaving a plastic surgeon's office the other day, but I can't tell you what work she had done.
That would be a Pippa violation.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Mar 08 2021
Why do I feel healthy on Saturdays and Sundays, and so sickly for all the other days ?
Maybe, I just have a weekend immune system.
ποΈ 73
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οΈ Feb 06 2021
Recently, I've been driving my wife crazy with how many friends named Fred I've been making, and they all look the same, no less. That said, one day a man rang our bell, and my wife, relieved that he did not look like my other friends, asked who he was, to which a replied:
"Don't worry, Honey, he's just another Fred of mine."
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Mar 15 2021
I ate a watch the other day
It was time consuming. I ended up going back for seconds.
ποΈ 27
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οΈ Feb 14 2021
I posted something on here the other day and didnβt get a single upvote
ποΈ 3k
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οΈ Dec 04 2020
What did the Jeeps say after crashing into each other?
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Mar 16 2021
Went camping the other day
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Mar 12 2021
What did one ocean say to the other?
They didnβt say anything; they just waved.
ποΈ 24
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οΈ Feb 09 2021
What did one smoking pipe say to the other smoking pipe?
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Mar 09 2021
What did the chicken say to the other chicken covered in spice?
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Mar 03 2021
Someone the other day asked me what empathy is
I told him I donβt know
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Feb 23 2021
I wrote a book about armadillo shells the other day
ποΈ 32
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οΈ Mar 01 2021
I saw a whole shelf of soy milk at the store the other day.
It's great that they've enabled milk to properly introduce themselves to customers.
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Mar 04 2021
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
ποΈ 112
π
οΈ Mar 12 2021
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didnβt sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
ποΈ 42
π
οΈ Mar 02 2021
these two wind turbines were standing in the field talking. one says to the other, "what kind of music do you like?" the reply...
ποΈ 17
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οΈ Mar 10 2021
What did one eye say to the other eye?
"I think there's something in between us that smells"
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Mar 09 2021
Got a vinyl album the other day on wasp sounds. Played it, didn't sound anything like wasps!
Turns out I was playing the bee side
ποΈ 13
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οΈ Mar 02 2021
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