We were talking to a guest today about all the caves and caverns we have visited.
She asked how we found out about them. We told her we are in underground network.
Maybe not new, but new to me and I was proud of it!
If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, all the other guests are supposed to pretend as if nothing happened.
Noble gases have no reaction.
My wife and I received nothing from our wedding guests but colanders. There musta been 500 of the damned thing.
It really put a strain on our marriage.
I just had a new wash basin delivered to our house for our guest bathroom, but my wife decided that she hates the design so much she won't even let me bring it in off the porch. It has been sitting by our front door for a week, A ENTIRE WEEK.
Why did the fruits invite the mushroom as chief guest for their party?
Cause he seemed like a "fun-gi"
Why were the guest performers arrested after the concert?
Because they stole the show.
When I worked at the Haunted Mansion, a guest once asked me if we had any beer available.
I said, "No. We only have spirits here."
I guess the food is more fluid with the guests
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
Did you know Def Leppard's drummer makes the best Thanksgiving guest?
He only ever needs one drumstick.
[totally true story just happened to me:] *the setup* staying in an airbnb... another guest arrives, he is a neuro-surgeon from south korea... interviewing at UCSF - I built that hosptial, so said to him
Wow, neuro-surgeon huh... I'd like to pick your brain....
He did not get it...
(those type of pun opportunities dont come to mind that often...) ((another one bitches))
How does the houseboat owner greet his guests?
“Welcome to my humble a-boat.”
A drunk guest returns to his hotel and says to the clerk "Hi. I've forgotten what room I'm in."
Clerk responds, "No problem, sir. This room is called 'The Lobby'"
It was my father's funeral today and my brother has been going round all the guests trying to tell them about his new fish and herbs recipe...
I eventually pulled him over and said "c'mon dude, there's a thyme and a plaice" but this is not it!
A house guest comments on the number of umbrellas we have at home...
"We're saving them for a rainy day."
A guest at the restaurant I work at told me the daddest joke I've ever heard
I was walking by with a jar of olives when he told me:
"You know that was Santa's eighth reindeer, right?"
Me:"Umm, Olive?"
Him:"Yeah, you know the song! ..and olive the other reindeer laughed and called Rudolph names!"
I finished mowing the lawn just before the first guests arrived for our party.
I didn't realize I was cutting it close.
What did the waiter at the Japanese restaurant say to the guest when he accidentally served the wrong soup?
The Prime Minister of Japan is meeting with the US President today and Trump told him that if he would spend the night, he'd rename the guest room after him.
The Shinzo Abe Lincoln Bedroom.
If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.
Noble gases have no reaction.
If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, the other guests are expected to pretend as if nothing happened.
Noble gases have no reaction.
If the Queen of England farts during dinner, the rest of the guests must pretend like nothing happened.
Noble gases should have no reaction.
Royal etiquette: If Queen Elizabeth accidentally burps during dinner, the other guests must pretend that nothing happened.
Because Noble Gases shouldn’t have any reaction.
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