My friend is designing a t-shirt for Folk Fest and needs a witty, all-ages-appropriate pun to go on it, but neither her, nor I or my fiancee can come up with one. The image on the front is of a beardy man playing the tuba, with a bird (Cardinal, I think?) coming out of it that's playing the drums. Out of the bass drum is crawling a cracked-out-looking dude wearing flannel, who's playing the guitar-looking instrument, with arms coming out of that playing the triangle. A great pun for the shirt with the word "Folk" in it would be much appreciated, and I know you guys are good at making puns, so fire away! Reddit, lend me your puns!
I am asking my girlfriend to the Homecoming dance in about a month, and it's been a running joke to be as cheesy as possible in our relationship. For this year, I was brainstorming and I saw a pirate costume in my attic. So I am going to take her on a date to a nearby lake, and then my friends are going to row up in a canoe dressed as pirates. They are going to somehow give her a treasure chest for safekeeping (I haven't really thought all of this through yet), and inside will hopefully be one of your puns asking her. Please help arrrr/puns!
You just say to your family member - "Did you hear someone in the family is part owl?"
They'll reply with "who?" And you look at them with a raised eyebrow.
Tell this joke over dinner if youd like to be the life of the party. You're welcome.
ME: ...And?
Response: EEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR, I use toilet paper.
Well played, boy.
Because then it would be a foot.
Sir: “Like winning an argument with my wife”.
Waiter “Rare it is!”.
He said "I don't think that's a weakness"
"Well I don't give a f* what you think"
....and write "EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH" on top.
Inflation
Your pupils, as they dielate
So he doesn't have a meltdown.
I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".
No, I’ve been eating frog legs. What you smell is the hops!
Try this on for sighs.
That's a moray.
I was out looking at beds with the family.
Wife: "I really like this bed."
Me: "I like it too, but I think this one is bedder."
.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "
You know... at the hippocampus.
I replied, "Tell him, he's bloody good. I don't have any kids."
My hand.
Me: Hindsight
Professor X: Well that won't be much help to us...
Me: Yes I see that now.
Me: 0Mg
It won't happen again
The principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir."
"Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked.
The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
Because you have a Tutankhamun.
Note:I thought of this today I really hope the joke lands.
... but all things considered, mine was pretty average, 5/10.
Then you will de-feet him
Me: You’re doing it right now.
Your Brain: I probably won’t do that.
Me: You have to read this dad joke backwards for it to make sense.
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
Please accept my Gondolances.
He’s Dublin clover with laughter.
Nachos.
