Breaking News: Archaeologists believe that they've uncovered a cache of pencils that belonged to William Shakespeare. A spokesperson for the dig said they're so badly chewed on the ends,
we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B.
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︎ Apr 23 2021
Why could Shakespeare never get a drink?
Because every time he walked into a pub the landlord would shout, "you're bard"
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︎ Apr 04 2021
Did you know Shakespeare had a brother who was a foot soldier in the military?
He would get so nervous before battle that he couldn't keep his hands from shaking. The say he wielded quite the shaky-spear.
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︎ Apr 15 2021
My daughter said she needs a book by Shakespeare for a class assignment. "Which one?" I asked.
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︎ Feb 24 2021
What did Shakespeare say when someone asked if he'd written any limericks?
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︎ Mar 21 2021
Did you know that Shakespeare wasn't just an amazing playwright? He also made exceptional wigs!
His shop name? Toupee or Not Toupee.
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︎ Jan 20 2021
We successfully went back in time and got Isaac Newton and Shakespeare to complete each other's research
Now my high school kid wants me to remind him of Newton's 3rd law of emotion
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Back in high school my Shakespeare Club have me an award
I was voted most likely To.Be
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︎ Dec 10 2020
Shakespeare's Pencil
The British Museum has a display that holds a pencil that belonged to Shakespeare...
Unfortunately it's so chewed up that they can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B
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︎ Nov 08 2020
Shakespeare, learning mandarin
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︎ Jul 08 2020
Why did Shakespeare only write in ink ?
Pencils posed a problem, 2B or not 2B
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︎ May 03 2020
Shakespeare
Two friends walk into a bookstore
After bying 23 pens 2 balloons and a pipeline
One of them goes to the till
Suddenly he remembers
- John do you want a pencil?
- Yes
- 2B or not 2B?
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︎ Aug 01 2020
What did the man say when he's was looking for Shakespeare's apartment?
2B or not 2B? That is the question.
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︎ Sep 03 2020
What do you call a camel reciting Shakespeare?
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︎ Sep 07 2020
I told my wife we couldn't get a hound like she wanted because I couldn't watch Shakespeare.
I'm worried he would think to bay or not to bay
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︎ Aug 11 2020
Why wouldnβt the barman serve Shakespeare?
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︎ Jul 10 2020
I heard Shakespeare had a play about accommodation
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︎ Jun 03 2020
I walked into a bookstore and asked an employee βDo you have any books by Shakespeare?β
Employee: Of course sir. Which one?
Me: William.
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︎ Dec 28 2019
I just discovered William Shakespeare owned the first video game console.
A Midsummer Night's Dreamcast
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︎ Mar 13 2020
What does Shakespeare call his omelet?
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︎ Jan 14 2020
βͺDo you guys remember when Shakespeare was trying to remember if his friend lived in 2B or not 2B?
The embarrassing thing is he was in the wrong hamlet. β¬
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︎ Feb 07 2020
Did you know Shakespeare was indecisive about the vitamins he took?
B2 or not B2, that was the question.
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︎ Mar 02 2020
I bought a pencil that was claimed to be owned by William Shakespeare, but the letteringβs all faded.
Iβm not sure whether itβs 2B or not 2B.
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︎ Feb 07 2020
A Dad walks into a bookstore and says, β Can I have a book by Shakespeare?β βOf course, sir, which one?β
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︎ Apr 30 2018
Shakespeare goes into a McDonald's...
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︎ Dec 05 2019
Have you seen Shakespeareβs βThe Punβ?
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︎ May 25 2018
Happy bday Shakespeare!
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︎ Apr 23 2019
What did Shakespeare order when he went to McDonalds?
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︎ Dec 08 2019
Which is heavier, the collected works of Shakespeare or a prison full of inmates?
The prose outweighs the cons.
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︎ Feb 17 2019
Apparently one of Shakespeares pencils was recently discovered
Apparently he chewed it so much that they couldnβt tell whether it was 2B or not 2B
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︎ Oct 31 2019
Shakespeare's "all the world's a stage was an inside joke
Because he literally had a theater built for his plays called the Globe theater.
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︎ Aug 17 2019
What kind of galaxy would Shakespeare live in?
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︎ Nov 01 2019
Why did Shakespeare use quills to write?
Because pencils confused him. 2B or not 2B, that was his question.
//stolen off facebook//
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︎ Oct 16 2018
How would Shakespeare decide what type of pen he would use to write a poem?
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︎ Jun 23 2019
I walked into a bookshop and said to the girl behind the counter, "I'm looking for a book by Shakespeare."
"Which one?" she asked.
I replied, "William."
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︎ Jan 06 2018
I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
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︎ Dec 10 2020
I have a pencil that was owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
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︎ May 26 2020
Someone own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now he can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
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︎ Sep 03 2020
Better than Shakespeare
I dig
You dig
We dig
He dig
She dig
They dig
It's not a great poem but it's deep
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︎ Aug 08 2020
I went to a bookstore and asked the guy, βDo you have any books by Shakespeare?β
Guy: Of course sir. Which one?
Me: William.
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︎ Apr 22 2020
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare.
But he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
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︎ Jul 27 2019
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare.
But he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
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︎ Nov 24 2018
I went to the bookstore and asked an employee, βDo you have anything by Shakespeare?β
He said, βOf course. Which one?β
Me: βWilliam.β
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︎ May 12 2019
I went to a bookstore and asked, βExcuse me, do you have a book by Shakespeare?β
Bookstore guy: Of course, sir. Which one?
Me: William.
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︎ Sep 12 2018
William Shakespeare was deciding what pencil to use
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︎ Sep 25 2018
I found a really chewed up pencil that was apparently once owned by William Shakespeare
I could not tell if it was 2B or not 2B...
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︎ Mar 04 2018
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