Did you hear about the priest who was admitted into the hospital with over two dozen little plastic horses lodged in his rectum.
Doctors say he is in stable condition.
A man walks into an apiary and asks the beekeeper for a dozen bees.
The beekeeper replies: "Sure, and I'll throw in the 13th as a freebie..."
A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter. “That’s one too many!” says the customer.
The clerk replies “It’s a freebie”
Went to the pet store and ordered a dozen bees. I noticed that the clerk gave me 13...
so I asked if that was a free bee. He replied, "No, that's called a baker's dozen. If you spent less time reading reposts on Reddit, you would know that."
“Back in the day...” my dad started to say. “You could walk into a grocery store with $2 in your pocket and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs and a bit of butter as well. But today...” he lamented...
“Wherever you go, there are those darn cameras!"
What did the dad say as he walked out of the donut shop with a dozen glazed?
A scientist walks into a lab to pick up a dozen beakers for a new experiment he’s been working on, and the lab clerk hands him 13 upon his arrival. “13?”, the scientist asks, “I wanted a dozen!”
The lab clerk says “I thought you wanted a beakers dozen!”
I got friend zoned but being the gentleman that I am, I still have her a dozen roses for Valentine’s Day
A programmer gets sent to the store by his wife. His wife says, “Get a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.”
The programmer returns home with 12 gallons of milk and says, “They had eggs.”
edit: I know guys, I know, it’s supposed to be 13, I messed up the wording, please forgive me
Every time I buy a dozen bees from the bee keeper , he’ll give me 13
He sure does enjoy giving freebees
Have you heard the joke about the farmer selling 24 dozen eggs?
Never mind, it’s two gross.
An aspiring beekeeper went to a farmer’s market to pick up a small hive. They placed an order for a dozen bees. When picking up the bees, the seller handed them a case of thirteen bees. Noticing the extra bee, the keeper pointed it out to the seller.
The seller said, “Oh, that last one is a freebee!”
I went into a pet shop and asked for a dozen bees. The shopkeeper counted out thirteen and handed them over.
"You've given me one too many."
"That one is a freebie."
True story: I wanted to print a dozen copies of a document, but selected 'Number of Copies: 12' on both MS Word and the printer itself, just to be sure. Turns out, it treated that as 12 times 12 copies.
I soon discovered that I had made a gross error of judgment.
So I went to the Doughnut Shop and bought a dozen orders of a dozen doughnuts.
I have a half dozen numbered storage ‘bays’ that I keep downstairs, all my camping equipment is in the last one, so every camping trip starts with me getting back to bay six.
A mathematician sold me an end table, which I put in my living room. When I came in the next day, there were over a dozen of them!
Turns out it was a multiplication table.
Dad walked down the stairs with his arm through a dozen picture frames.
"I've been framed!" he said.
I went to the beekeeper to get a dozen bees. They gave me 13.
The extra one was a free bee.
I went to the apiary for a dozen bees, and the beekeeper gave me 13.
The last one was a freebie.
“Back in the day...” my grandfather started to say. “You could walk into a grocery store with $2 in your pocket and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs and a bit of butter as well.”
“But today...” he continued. “Wherever you go, there are cameras...”
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