Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says

"Well prayed"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
If we wanted evangelical Christians to take the pandemic as a serious threat...

... we should have called it the Quran-o-virus.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ballpressure
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do Christians in Japan always put an extra cup at the table?

For God's sake.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AjahnMara
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I figured out the secret to writing great Christian music.

It’s all about G-sus.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do some Christians insist on attending in-person church services during the quarantine?

Because they want to keep their spirits up.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jay-ay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Teacher: Introduce yourself to the class. Me: I'm Christian.

Teacher: Roman Catholic or Eastern Orthodox?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Last night I went to a Christian themed restaurant called β€œThe Lord Giveth”.

They also do take away.

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My Canadian friend was reluctant to emcee the Young Men's Christian Association event.

His exact words were, "Why emcee, eh?"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Christian preacher say to jesus' mom in 1 AD?

Raise the lord! Raise the lord!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GriffinGelz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new conservative Christian rock band?

Guns and Moses.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Christian Dad say to his kid staying up playing video games

It's pastor bed time

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cubety
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Who is the most devilish christian of all time?

St. Anne.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
So I signed up on the dating site Christian Mingle

My username is "ComeGetPslam"

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the woman join the Christian hippy commune?

Because she loved casual sects.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaikaReturns
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
🚨︎ report
In a christian marriage, is the wife or husband supposed to make the coffee in the morning?

According to the bible, "Hebrews"

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZesterOfNazareth
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the Christian Dental Society?

They're a real molars and values crowd

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ceilingscorpion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
🚨︎ report
The difference between Christians and Stoners.
πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2015
🚨︎ report
So Christian Yelich hit for the Cycle again last night.

I guess you can say he got a Bi-Cycle last night.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doctorcockpunch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the dog walking service for Christians?

It was called Canine Able.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wilberfarce
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2016
🚨︎ report
Us Christians managed to repurpose all the old pagan holidays, well, except for New Years.

We really dropped the ball on that one.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kmaheynoway
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2018
🚨︎ report
The girlfriend with a religious identity crisis declares "If that exists, I'm a Christian rebel".

"So you're a Protestant."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tamer_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2016
🚨︎ report
My Christian-Dad was obviously the inspiration for Ned Flanders

Dad: "Time for bed, kids"

Kids: "Throw us in bed! Throw us in bed!"

(Dad picks a kid up in his arms)

Dad: "Did I ever tell you about the three men in the book of Daniel who were thrown into the fiery furnace?"

Kids: "No!"

Dad: "Their names were... Shadrach... Meshach... and ToBedYouGo!

(tosses squealing kid through the air, onto the bed)

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclura
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
🚨︎ report
Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says

"Well prayed"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report

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