Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says
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︎ Oct 21 2019
Why do Christians in Japan always put an extra cup at the table?
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︎ Mar 18 2020
I figured out the secret to writing great Christian music.
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︎ Mar 11 2020
Why do some Christians insist on attending in-person church services during the quarantine?
Because they want to keep their spirits up.
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︎ Apr 19 2020
Christian Christian Bale Bale
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︎ Dec 31 2019
There's now a scholarship available to Contemporary Christian Music students.
It's called an "Amy" Grant.
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︎ Jan 27 2020
I joined a Christian dating site...
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︎ Jan 22 2020
What is Christian Greyβs favorite subreddit?
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︎ Dec 16 2019
Is Tim McGraw a Christian?
I wish heβd share his Faith with me.
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︎ Jan 09 2020
Teacher: Introduce yourself to the class. Me: I'm Christian.
Teacher: Roman Catholic or Eastern Orthodox?
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︎ Nov 17 2019
For all my Christian Bois
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︎ Jul 01 2019
I don't get it, why is it so important for Christians to have 'K' and 'M' next to each other at Christmas?
I mean every other song "No L, No L!"
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︎ Dec 01 2019
Christian Bale
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︎ Jun 01 2019
A group of Christian monks want to create a band. What's their name?
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︎ Oct 24 2019
What do you call a Christian dating website for people with lisps?
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︎ Nov 02 2019
Last night I went to a Christian themed restaurant called βThe Lord Givethβ.
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︎ Jun 06 2019
My dad was a policeman of few words. When he guarded an ancient Egyptian Christian burial chamber he was...
A cryptic cop in a Coptic crypt.
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︎ Sep 15 2019
What kind of milk do lactose intolerant Christians drink?
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︎ Aug 16 2019
Just met Christian Bale.
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︎ Aug 18 2017
My Canadian friend was reluctant to emcee the Young Men's Christian Association event.
His exact words were, "Why emcee, eh?"
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︎ Jun 27 2019
I bought a porn mag company and I'm making it into a Christian magazine.
I'm still working out a few kinks
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︎ May 08 2019
Did you hear about that Christian secret agent?
His name was Jason Bourne again.
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︎ May 12 2019
Did you hear about the new conservative Christian rock band?
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︎ Jan 01 2019
What did the Christian Dad say to his kid staying up playing video games
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︎ Mar 11 2019
I don't get what Christians are trying to warn us about. Hell sounds like a great place
People are dying to get there.
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︎ Dec 04 2018
I had to fire my Christian guitar tutor. He was too religious. I wanted to learn guitar, but all he kept talking about was
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︎ Dec 26 2018
I asked a woman out, but she said she only dates Christians.
So I guess it's Yahweh or the highway.
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︎ Feb 07 2019
Why aren't more DJs Christian?
Because they are to busy practicing Wicca Wicca Wicca.
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︎ Dec 12 2018
Who is the most devilish christian of all time?
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︎ Aug 30 2018
So I signed up on the dating site Christian Mingle
My username is "ComeGetPslam"
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︎ Jan 31 2018
Friend: "Ugh, this stupid christian fur is blocking my video game!"
Me: "You mean the Cross-hair?"
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︎ Dec 09 2018
Why donβt Christians like trigonometry?
Because they donβt like to sine.
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︎ Jan 16 2018
What do you call a gun loving, Christian rock band?
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︎ Mar 18 2018
Why are Christians so opposed to carbon dating?
Because they think carbon should be married already.
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︎ May 17 2018
In a christian marriage, is the wife or husband supposed to make the coffee in the morning?
According to the bible, "Hebrews"
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︎ Jul 28 2018
Why did the woman join the Christian hippy commune?
Because she loved casual sects.
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︎ Apr 30 2018
Have you heard about the Christian Dental Society?
They're a real molars and values crowd
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︎ Oct 06 2018
So Christian Yelich hit for the Cycle again last night.
I guess you can say he got a Bi-Cycle last night.
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︎ Sep 19 2018
A Christian, a Muslim, a Jew and a Hindu walked into a bar...
The bar now has a sign saying 'Mind your Head!'.
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︎ Aug 16 2018
What do you call a Jew who marries a Christian?
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︎ May 08 2018
What do you call yourself when your mom is Jewish and your dad is Christian.
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︎ Jan 11 2018
The difference between Christians and Stoners.
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︎ Apr 05 2015
Us Christians managed to repurpose all the old pagan holidays, well, except for New Years.
We really dropped the ball on that one.
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︎ Jan 02 2018
Why are Christians so good at calculating perpendicular vectors?
They worship the cross product.
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︎ Dec 12 2016
Did you hear about the dog walking service for Christians?
It was called Canine Able.
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︎ Dec 04 2016
My 7 year old son asked whether our new puppy was a christian
Me: "Nope. He follows his own dogma."
Wife almost threw an omelette at me.
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︎ Sep 10 2015
Christian Bale
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︎ Dec 04 2014
The girlfriend with a religious identity crisis declares "If that exists, I'm a Christian rebel".
"So you're a Protestant."
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︎ Nov 11 2016
What do you call a Miaphysite Christian who isn't from Scotland?
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︎ Oct 31 2014
My Christian-Dad was obviously the inspiration for Ned Flanders
Dad: "Time for bed, kids"
Kids: "Throw us in bed! Throw us in bed!"
(Dad picks a kid up in his arms)
Dad: "Did I ever tell you about the three men in the book of Daniel who were thrown into the fiery furnace?"
Kids: "No!"
Dad: "Their names were... Shadrach... Meshach... and ToBedYouGo!
(tosses squealing kid through the air, onto the bed)
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︎ Aug 27 2013
What do you call a Christian pizza place?
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︎ Aug 05 2014
Is Tim McGraw a Christian?
If so, I wish heβd share his Faith with me.
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︎ Oct 24 2018
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