Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyBob_TX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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Jesus Christ would you look at the time
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mighty_Lord6
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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Cheesus Christ our lord and savoury
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deanus89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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There is a new drug on the streets called Jesus Christ...

Ya, most users are taking the Lord's name in vein.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scrollholio
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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Cheesus Christ
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πŸ‘€︎ u/harsoul05
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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What is the difference between Jesus Christ and his picture?

His picture only requires one nail to hang

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Manos2532005
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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If Jesus Christ was a dinosaur, would be be known as

Jesus Christosaurus?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deadly_R
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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What did the priest say when he saw the image of Christ in a cheese?

Cheese is Christ!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WD40911
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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A large gathering of priests and nuns arranged themselves to form an image of Christ visible from space...

But it wasn't for altruism of course, they all stood to make an enormous prophet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phryxil
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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Jesus Christ would you look at the time!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pik_Boi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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Jesus Christ, that's a blue shelf
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rolyatmot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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Jesus Christ, would you look at the time? imgur.com/plt2qAA
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skekung37
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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Stole from somewhere. Probably old, but so is Cheesus Christ.
πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/43CaptiaN
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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Cheesus Christ our lord and saviour
πŸ‘︎ 239
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Athena123YT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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Jesus Christ would you look at the time?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RitoChicken
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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Jesus Christ...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AL_O0
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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This is the time of the year when I get really annoyed when everyone writes β€œX” instead of β€œChrist.”

I calm myself down by playing my Christ Box 360.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
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Jet Engine Fueled by the Faith of Christ

THE POWER OF CHRIST PROPELS YOU

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnchorMcDaddy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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Jessus Christ....
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noobcorni
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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Damn christ is high up in the sky!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paper-machete56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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Chessus Christ the grate lord i.reddituploads.com/f6c78…
πŸ‘︎ 365
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notsofamous06
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2016
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For Spanish Catholics removing Christ from Christmas should mean more to them.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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Cheesus Christ
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TerraTrooper64
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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Christ (x-post from r/thingsforants)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Juvero07
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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β€œJesus Christ, I’m more than 15 minutes late for my 3 O clock appointment!!

β€”John, 3:16

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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Jesus Christs! Magician taken too seriously.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whygeorgia
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2017
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The pub at the end of my road only serves brides of Christ...

but it's the best pub in the area, Bar Nun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardFM
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2017
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Jesus Christ, that’s delicious!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/topderp1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2017
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The power of Christ gives strength to this church's pun game.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/classickev
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2017
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Scientists have located the wood that they believe Christ was crucified on.

Carbon dating puts it at 2000+ years old. However, other items located nearby were much newer. Scientists believe it’s just cross contamination.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
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I bought my wife a wooden leg for Christ mas.

It wasn't her main present, just a stocking filler!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/profpimm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2018
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I heard some people are doing a reenactment of the Passion of the Christ.

I bet they nail it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thintoast
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
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I wonder what Christ's Investment Portfolio is like

His followers go on and on about how much Jesus saves... Religiously.... But I bet it's not an ungodly amount

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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What did Jesus Christ say when he hit his thumb with a hammer?

"Me!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big-Red-Dog
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
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Jesus Christ

Me: Jesus christ! (Or God!)

Dad: Yes?

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superherosam
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2013
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