Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
Jesus Christ would you look at the time
Cheesus Christ our lord and savoury
There is a new drug on the streets called Jesus Christ...
Ya, most users are taking the Lord's name in vein.
What is the difference between Jesus Christ and his picture?
His picture only requires one nail to hang
If Jesus Christ was a dinosaur, would be be known as
What did the priest say when he saw the image of Christ in a cheese?
A large gathering of priests and nuns arranged themselves to form an image of Christ visible from space...
But it wasn't for altruism of course, they all stood to make an enormous prophet.
Jesus Christ would you look at the time!
Jesus Christ, that's a blue shelf
Stole from somewhere. Probably old, but so is Cheesus Christ.
Cheesus Christ our lord and saviour
Jesus Christ would you look at the time?
This is the time of the year when I get really annoyed when everyone writes “X” instead of “Christ.”
I calm myself down by playing my Christ Box 360.
Jet Engine Fueled by the Faith of Christ
THE POWER OF CHRIST PROPELS YOU
Damn christ is high up in the sky!
For Spanish Catholics removing Christ from Christmas should mean more to them.
Christ (x-post from r/thingsforants)
“Jesus Christ, I’m more than 15 minutes late for my 3 O clock appointment!!
Jesus Christs! Magician taken too seriously.
The pub at the end of my road only serves brides of Christ...
but it's the best pub in the area, Bar Nun.
Jesus Christ, that’s delicious!
The power of Christ gives strength to this church's pun game.
Scientists have located the wood that they believe Christ was crucified on.
Carbon dating puts it at 2000+ years old. However, other items located nearby were much newer. Scientists believe it’s just cross contamination.
I bought my wife a wooden leg for Christ mas.
It wasn't her main present, just a stocking filler!
I heard some people are doing a reenactment of the Passion of the Christ.
I wonder what Christ's Investment Portfolio is like
His followers go on and on about how much Jesus saves... Religiously.... But I bet it's not an ungodly amount
What did Jesus Christ say when he hit his thumb with a hammer?
Me: Jesus christ! (Or God!)