What did Death begrudgingly tell Jesus before his resurrection?

"Oh, get out of my scythe!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rubbergnome
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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Resurrection tour

I just read that Mariah Carey has been has been selected to play with Johnny Cash on his Resurrection Tour. There won't be an opening act, so it'll be only Cash n Carey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chichm
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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I told my son I believe everyone goes to heaven until the resurrection of the saints

He said, "Why just the saints? There's like 31 other football teams."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Horton780
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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The recipe for Resurrection Rolls is easy

The annoying part is waiting 3 days for them to rise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/belly_bell
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2016
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He has resurrected!
πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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According to official NASA documents they have Aliens on the ISS.

They also have Alien, Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection - all on DVD.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imaginator127
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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He arrived mysteriously. He helped, performed miracles, died, got resurrected, and went back to the heavens.

E.T. (1982) A Hollywood classic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
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The traveller

It was somewhere around the 6th century after the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, an Anglish man was travelling through Normandy when he sees a local labouring the fields, and asks:

"Hello. What does it take to become a mercenary amongst your King's regiments?"
"Not that much - to be Frank."
"I see. I better give up then.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roosterington
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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Got my mom last month

Last month, I bought a book of skits from a store. I was reading a few of the skits out loud, and my mom mentioned Who's On First. My brother didn't believe it was 70 years old. Mom then said that there was a section of a Greek comedy that was very similar to Monty Python's Parrot Sketch, only with a dead slave instead of a dead parrot.

Me: "Monty Python resurrected that joke far more effectively than that guy wishes he could've resurrected the parrot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RotWS
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2015
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