What did Death begrudgingly tell Jesus before his resurrection?

"Oh, get out of my scythe!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rubbergnome
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Resurrection tour

I just read that Mariah Carey has been has been selected to play with Johnny Cash on his Resurrection Tour. There won't be an opening act, so it'll be only Cash n Carey.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chichm
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my son I believe everyone goes to heaven until the resurrection of the saints

He said, "Why just the saints? There's like 31 other football teams."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Horton780
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The recipe for Resurrection Rolls is easy

The annoying part is waiting 3 days for them to rise

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/belly_bell
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2016
🚨︎ report
He has resurrected!
πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
He arrived mysteriously. He helped, performed miracles, died, got resurrected, and went back to the heavens.

E.T. (1982) A Hollywood classic

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
🚨︎ report
According to official NASA documents they have Aliens on the ISS.

They also have Alien, Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection - all on DVD.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Imaginator127
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
The traveller

It was somewhere around the 6th century after the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, an Anglish man was travelling through Normandy when he sees a local labouring the fields, and asks:

"Hello. What does it take to become a mercenary amongst your King's regiments?"
"Not that much - to be Frank."
"I see. I better give up then.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Roosterington
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Got my mom last month

Last month, I bought a book of skits from a store. I was reading a few of the skits out loud, and my mom mentioned Who's On First. My brother didn't believe it was 70 years old. Mom then said that there was a section of a Greek comedy that was very similar to Monty Python's Parrot Sketch, only with a dead slave instead of a dead parrot.

Me: "Monty Python resurrected that joke far more effectively than that guy wishes he could've resurrected the parrot."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RotWS
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.