She looked up and whispered, "They're right behind you".
That's their back story.
I only have my shelf to blame.
it was impossible to put down.
Were these people born in a Barnes and Noble or something?
I said "It's a long story".
“Well son” I replied “it’s a long story”
She said try Sarah Topps.
Personally, I’m tired of the hullabaloo.
Because it was written by a ghost writer
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
Goodnight Moon is the darkest book I know.
It's an autobiography.
the bible. it’s the holiest book.
It’s a hard back
Because of all its problems
They give them book jackets!
I can’t seem to put it down.
It’s called War and Peas.
It caused a title wave!
"NO, We don't!!!" replies the barman.
It was a very uplifting story. (Courtesy of my 10 year old)
But it's full of words I've never even herbivore.
It’s about thyme.
Me: Well, it’s ......a long story.
…IT hit me.
Hebrews
Seriously, I don't know they could have made it Eddie Vedder.
Someone had already ripped the appendix out.
I guess, I've got to start again from scratch.
She said it rang a bell but she didn't know if it was there or not.
She said they might have been damaged, wet and moldy.
She said "Sure, what volume ?"
She said they were in the non-friction section.
At least he died on his own terms.
I call it Plot Armor ™
She said "They're right behind you!"
She look up and whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
It was impossible to put down
She whispered, "They're right behind you..."
I can’t put it down.
I just can’t put it down!
It had a lot of problems
