Thanksgiving Turkey Puns

Everyone at the frozen food aisle started freaking out though.

You Butterball-ieve it!

They are just a bunch of tomfoolery.

It was too stuffed to say anything.

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they’re dead."

Lucky.

To get to the other sides.

But they banned flavored vapes.

He was foiled.

The turkey was already dressed.

Baste on a true story.

It was fowl.

He’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

They said that they just tell them straight out that you're gonna die.

I actually got my dad with this one, and I was so proud.

I was getting ready to head back home after visiting my folks for Thanksgiving. My mom is, of course, insisting that I take insane amounts of leftovers home. My dad pulls out what's left of the turkey.

Dad (rube): "All we've got left are the legs and wings. Are you sure you want those?"

Me (smart): "Of course! You know I like the Napoleon pieces."

Dad: "The what?"

Me: "The Napoleon pieces."

Dad: "........."

Me: "The bony parts."

They couldn't wait for me to leave.

Because it’s fowl.

Trump Jr and Eric were mighty relieved.

It's called Inglourious Basteds

Let's just say the taste and smell wasn't the best. My daughter (we can call her LD) was refusing to eat any more when my wife reminded her that she wouldn't get any dessert unless she ate a few more bites. I notice that LD was just barely eating two black beans off her spoon. I looked at BDH and LD and said "I don't blame you for only eating the beans. The rest is just fowl." It took a few seconds before hearing the groans we all love so much.

“No, sir," he replied. "They're dead.