The key to a great Thanksgiving dinner is...

The tur-KEY.

Also, the key to a fun visit to the zoo is the mon-key.

And the key to a great science fiction movies is a Woo-key.

To ensure the maximum amount of eye-rolls, casually drop these into the conversation several minutes apart.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Keep in mind that given all of this year's events, Thanksgiving dinner can get heated

It can get re-heated the next day as well

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pikindaguy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Despite everything this year, we're having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner

You know..Turkey.. stuffing... Cranberries..and Masked Potatoes.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CoffeeCat072083
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Made a whole bunch of dad jokes at Thanksgiving dinner...

I pulled out all the Pops!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joblessidiot420
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I was prepping the raw turkey for Thanksgiving dinner

It was fowl.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CalvinVGB
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend asked me if I was peeling sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner.

I said, β€œYes, I yam”

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vanilla_Milkshaq
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad died on Thanksgiving whilst eating dinner

Fowl play was suspected

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I was cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and my wife said, β€œThese potatoes are burnt to a crisp!”

I said, β€œIt’s for tomorrow.”

Her: Huh?

Me: Tomorrow is Black Fry day.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
At the dinner table at my Canadian thanksgiving

My mother asked me to pass the cranberries. I picked up the dish and extended it to her but she didn’t reach for it. I was like, β€œAre you gonna take the cranberries or are you just gonna let it linger?”

Took a second but I got a few good laughs.

I’m not even a Dad... yet

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vanntasy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
🚨︎ report
At Thanksgiving, everyone at the dinner table was noticeably fowl-mouthed.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad dropped this one on us today at thanksgiving dinner

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop Dogg? ..

..

..

Dr. Dre

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/teamdragonunicorn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2015
🚨︎ report
Proud moment at Thanksgiving dinner tonight. (yes it's Thanksgiving in Canada - TYL)...

My daughter (13) hates listening to my Dad jokes all the time (down deep she really loves them)

So tonight at dinner I said, wow I'm so stuffed and she says, oh probably from all the stuffing eh!? She then says, oh god I'm turning into you! ☺️

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lachrondizzle23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2017
🚨︎ report
I got the whole family to groan towards the end of our thanksgiving dinner today

Right towards the end of dinner, I was feeling pretty full. So I said, β€œcall me a turkey, cause I’m stuffed”

Everyone groaned, including my dad, except Dad kinda chuckled and groaned at the same time. I thought it was hilarious.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kawi_moto96
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2017
🚨︎ report
Ham-based pun you might be able to use at Thanksgiving Dinner

Thanksgiving dinner: Doing it Yang-Ham Style!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2016
🚨︎ report
At Thanksgiving Dinner

Aunt: Don't do drugs, the dealers put stuff in them. They'll lace anything. Uncle: Well, I guess I'm gunna need new shoes.

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GreenTreeSurf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
🚨︎ report
At a family dinner for Thanksgiving (Canada), everyone is firing off their best potato puns.

I pipe up with "Please, you guys, stop. If you keep this up, I'm going to die of Tuber-culosis."

The entire table emitted a collective groan at me, and one of my cousins just shook his head at me. No one made a potato pun again that night.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Commander
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2016
🚨︎ report
At Thanksgiving dinner with 8 kids under the age of 7, I made a joke about inventing a reverse hearing aid that tunes out children decibels.

It fell on deaf ears

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/borntobemild-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2016
🚨︎ report
Got my kid while cooking Thanksgiving dinner

She asked why I was microwaving the sweet potatoes instead of putting them in the oven and I told her that the turkey was in there, and I still needed to use the oven for the dressing, the veggies, and then the pie.

"Wow, there's a long waiting list for the oven!" she exclaimed.

I replied, "Yep, guess you could say it's the hot place to be tonight."

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thrifty917
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Cleaning up after thanksgiving dinner

Mom: Hey I am putting the gravy back in the jar if anyone is looking for it.

Me: Did you seal it tightly so it doesn't drip?

Mom: Yeah it should be good.

Me: Good I wouldn't want it to be ajar.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ImaginaryMatt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Dad got us at Thanksgiving dinner.

My mom made a delicious chocolate mousse pie for dessert. When my wife noted how delicious it was, my dad said, "Yeah, and she had to work hard to make it too. Those Chocolate Moose are hard to find!" Cue collective groan.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NawtAGoodNinja
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2014
🚨︎ report
Grandpa at the dinner table, Thanksgiving

So, Grandpa, you can't fly for a bit then? (He had eye surgery, can't fly due to changing pressure or something)

"Yeah, but mostly because I don't have wings"

No one else found it as funny as I did unfortunately

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/afrocolt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2014
🚨︎ report
Thanksgiving Dinner

Just after taking our seats, as we're passing around the food, my dad would ask his dad "Want a roll?"

Grandpa's reply: "No, thank you. I just sat down!"

Every year :)

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JaybirdLT1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2013
🚨︎ report
It was a good thanksgiving dinner

Talking about a cousin-in-laws new boyfriend

> He's getting a Ph.D. in Statistics, so he's pretty smart

Me: Would you say that he is significantly smart?


Someone wanted the stuffing:

> Did you know that when it isn't in the turkey it isn't called stuffing, but it's actually called dressing??

Me: Just don't put it on your salad

The parent's and my wife groaned but the little kids thought it was funny.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/turtle_flu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2014
🚨︎ report
Today at Thanksgiving Dinner

My cousin asked my uncle where he was going to sit. I replied with "in a chair."

Guys, I'm only 18. I don't know if I'm ready for this.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Griffey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
🚨︎ report
Thanksgiving dinner

We're all sitting around eating thanksgiving dinner when my dad stops and exclaims, "Yam this is good!" We all had a good chuckle.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EvTheSmev
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
🚨︎ report
The timer went off on the oven for the buns I cooked for Thanksgiving dinner...

My dad yells "ROLL CALL!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lododo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2013
🚨︎ report
My niece at Thanksgiving dinner...

had a bit of a choking scare when she tried to stuff a whole crescent roll in her mouth.
After she regained her composure, I advised her to slow her roll. Groans abound.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/capomatt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2014
🚨︎ report
Thanksgiving Dinner

After Thanksgiving dinner at Walmart looking for plunger

Dad: Where can we get a plunger?

Walmart Employee: Right this way!

Dad: Thank you! We had a big Thanksgiving meal.

Me: shakes head

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MedStudent14
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2013
🚨︎ report
Discussing movies at Thanksgiving dinner

At Thanksgiving dinner with some family friends and my dad (a dentist) and his dental partner (my godfather) are talking about movies.

Godfather: Have you guys seen Gravity yet?

Dad: No, I heard it's heavy.

cue laughter

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/craznfish
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
🚨︎ report
My dads comment at Thanksgiving dinner last year..

Mutters to himself under his breath.. "And I'll take some dark meat because I'm not racist."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fookyeshockey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2014
🚨︎ report
At thanksgiving dinner...

So my family and I are eating our usual thanksgiving dinner, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, you name it. My sister really likes sweet drinks, so she would serve her self a glass of grape juice almost right after her previous ones. After a couple of refills, my dad says "Do you want some dinner with your juice?" He says this for every damn thing. I like syrup on my waffles like the next guy but pour a little much and he says "Want some waffles with your syrup?" Every. Damn. Time.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CoochMuffler
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.