Yourewelcomegiving
There's a lot of cold turkey to go around.
I told them I couldn’t stop cold turkey
“No, sir," he replied. "They're dead.
He went from the ladle to the grave.
He's okay now though, he quit cold turkey
They said that they just tell them straight out that you're gonna die.
My 8 year old just got so pissed off she threw my phone at me from across the car. Worth it!
Canadian Yourewelcomegiving.
My dad made himself a turkey and cheese sandwhich and I asked for a bite. Me: "Oh thats good" Him: "No its actually Gouda"
It’s my jingle bell rock.
... because at the beginning, the announcer clearly said "Welcome to the 90-second Thanksgiving Day parade!"
So it was my first time meeting my girlfriend's family and it was a holiday so I had assumed it would go like how it is in the movies, the guy being constantly criticized by the girl's family and told he's not good enough but I must have lucked out as they absolutely loved me, after we had the traditional thanksgiving meal at around 4, her family and I went to the porch to drink and joke around. On the way out to the porch, buzzed me thought it would be hilarious to take someone's ukelele with me and hide it on the porch, I promised myself that before the day is over, I'd use that ukelele as a joke piece and get everyone to love me even more. So the evening is going great, everyone's drunk, laughing, telling funny family stories when all of a sudden, I stand up, get everyone's attention and I grab the ukelele, picked it up and said
"I like to play a little guitar"
The hysterical, drunken laughs of everyone on the porch was the highlight of the best Thanksgiving I've ever had.
Me: I decided to become vegan.
Her: Yeah?
Me; The day after Thanksgiving I went cold turkey.
The scene: Day after Thanksgiving, been browsing black friday deals on my phone all day.
Me: Hey, that's cool, they've got Updoc on sale for 15 bucks.
Her: Updoc? What's Updoc?
Me: Not much, what's up with you?
Can't believe I actually pulled it off, she wouldn't speak to me for a good half-hour after that.
This was during Thanksgiving but I just remembered it the other day in the car. For Thanksgiving our family and in-laws all got a cabin in east TN. This cabin had a room with a pool table and in that room it had a door to the outside. Well my 12 year old nephew and I would go to play pool a lot and once time while we were down there I took my shoes off and they smelled terrible! So I decided to put them outside using the aforementioned door. Then the best set up of my life happened: My nephew said "Don't put them outside, the bears will eat them!"
Me: "No they wont, they might take them but they won't eat them"
Nephew: "why not?"
Me: "Because they have have bear feet"
My nephew just stared at me, and I sat there looking like suspense eel waiting for him to get it.. and he said "uncle fr0zen_yettiiii that was lame"
GF: "What day is Thanksgiving on this year?"
Me: "Thursday."
GF: http://i.imgur.com/peMjgNU.gifv
I call it my jingle bell rock.
