Telling Time Puns

New Roman.”

I told him, “Turn right at the next corner.”

It was a par time job.

And it happened to be reallyyyy long. So I just told them to give me the brief of it

Me ow.

But the truth is, bee comedians make a pheromone of money.

Did I make myself clear?

It’s just such a grave situation.

Why does a crow never get hit on the side of the road?

There is always one on the other side saying "CAH CAH!"

But you didn't like it

She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"

He didn't say much though — he was a little horse.

Kids these days have a lot of slang for a killer clown movie.

My dad worked in construction for most of his life, and because he worked with his hands, he sacrificed many watches. But if you don't have a watch, how are you to tell time? My dad has a great sense of humor and is always thinking of new ways to do things to make them more practical or thinking of ways to change things to make them work better for him. So after spending way too much money on a heavy duty watch that inevitably broke on him, he came up with a better solution.

He used the working part of a clock and stuck it on the inside rim of his hat, so if he wanted to know what the time was, he just had to look up. Simple. And the way his hat was, you couldn't see the clock when looking at him unless you were underneath him and looking up.

And then came the funny part. Every time he was asked what time it was, he would look up at the sun, scan the horizon, pretend to do a math equation in his head, and tell them the exact time down to the minute. I've witnessed him doing this a few times but never gave it away. The look of surprise and confusion this gave people was priceless.

My dad had done other funny things like this, but this was by far the funniest.

Me: Not today, Dad.

My Dad: Give up. Let me tell you in his glorious beaming pride face

I use because, because, because is a conjunction.

An hourglass.

With TikTok.

Coo Coo !!!

It left it's tracks!

I was impressed.

I think aisle tell it later

Not happy.

Once

But I got that one hands down.

Hairy Tails!

Because they aren't Whenwolves.

It's old butt gold.

But we just keep going round and round in circles

Son day.

A guy walks into a bar on Ash Wednesday and orders a beer. "I'm really having a hard time trying to decide what to give up for Lent," he tells the bartender. "Well let me tell you a little cautionary tale about giving things up for Lent," the bartender says. "A particular family in LA has been abstaining from using one letter of the alphabet for Lent each year, since 2001. It started as a joke, giving up "A" in 2001 and "B" in 2002, but developed into a strong family tradition. This year, one of the members has a tough choice to make. Unlike the rest of the Astleys, Rick made a solemn vow... "

“Hey, a train just went by!"

“How do you know daddy?”

“Because its tracks are still here!”

So my dad's telling my relatives the story of how my mom was in labor for 12 hours so they named me 'Laura' which if you say it in Vietnamese accent it's 'Lau-ra' which means "Long time to come out"...

IMAGINE FINDING OUT AFTER 21 YEARS YOUR NAME IS A FUCKING PUN ..

If you ask why they'll say: "It's all hours"

I always stand.

But you guys didn't like it.

But you didn’t like it.

But you guys didn’t like it

....but you guys didn't like it.

But you guys didn't like it!

But you didn't like it

But you guys didn’t like it.

But you guys didn't like it.

but you guys didn’t like it

but you didn't like it.

but you guys didn't like it.

She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"

But you didn't like it.

but you didn't like it.

She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"

But you guys didnt like it

No, I have to look at it

But you guys didn’t like it.