I’m gutted I couldn’t go to the cheese tasting event this week
I heard it was a really fondue
I went to what I thought was a christening but halfway through the vicar tipped a load of pish tasting lager over the poor baby.
Turns out he was being fostered.
In a Jerusalem restaurant, a waitress asks a customer, "How's everything tasting?" And the customer answeres...
"Isreali good, thank you."
My girlfriend swore up and down she could learn to orgasm by smelling, hearing or tasting something yummy.
Goofy girl! After 6 months of trying, she finally came to her senses.
Saw this gem in a tasting room.
What do you call a bad tasting hot beverage?
Was at the store with my dad tasting wine.
Sommelier: And This is a fine Italian
Dad: I love a fine Italian
Guess I'm never going to wine tasting again.
Instructor: Only true champagne comes from Champagne Italy, everything else is called sparkling wine.
raise my hand
Me: where are these ones from?
Instructor: Those three are from California.
Me: So the rest of these are just Sham-pagnes?
Whole room groans, gf says she's never taking me to these again.
Friend tasting food
My dad dropped this one on me today and sent it to everyone on his phone
If you had a friend who tasted your food, would you call him your tastebud?
Father-in-law's response to invitation to cheese tasting at a vineyard next week
I'm off, "wine" not!
Edit: This was via email. Yeah, he included the quotes.
[Request] I need a tasteful pun about retirement for a principal of a school. Anyone got any?
They just don’t taste right!
What smells like feet and tastes like fish?
Why does a space rock taste nicer than an earth rock?
It’s a little meteor.
(Not a dad. But I told this to my dad and he approved)
Did you know frogs taste like beer?
3 months since I had COVID and I’ve still got very little sense of taste.
Sometimes I just find myself settling down on the sofa, opening up Netflix and sticking on Friends
Why does novacaine taste so good?
I need help - What does digital coffee taste like
I invited an old friend to digital coffee and they ask what digital coffee tastes like...i need a comeback/pun!
While at a restaurant, the waitress was totally flirting with me with my wife present. After she walked away, my wife said “She obviously has COVID!” “Why would you think that?” I asked.
“Because she has no taste.”
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent
Tongue, Teeth, Saliva, Roof, Soft Palate, Hard Palate, Uvuula, Taste Buds, Gums...
Wow, that was really a mouthful...
Told the waitress my coffee tasted like mud.
"It should, it was fresh ground this morning. "
Making stale bread taste better is easy
I have bad taste...
No seriously I have covid and everything tastes like a soggy cracker.
Adult deer may not taste good covered in melted cheese
My daughter asked what pig milk tastes like. I said it's sower.
"Waiter, this boiled egg tastes funny"
"Don't ask me madam. I only laid the table. "
What did han solo say after he tasted wookiee for the first time?
Not bad but a little chewie
I had a job as a taste tester in a distillery....
... but I found the work staggering.
What smells better than it tastes?
What does a beer taste without yeast in it?
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in. My 7yr old daughter just told me this, so proud!
A man was tired of drinking well water as he didn't like the taste. In fact, he hated it so much that he decided to destroy the well using dynamite. Unfortunately...
I quit my job as a taste tester at the herbal seasonings factory...
... I found the work too Thyme consuming.
I tried to substitute eggroll skins instead of the usual for my fried Chinese dumplings. They tasted the same, but came out rectangular.
I guess it's back to square won.
Everyone talks about Saudi's expensive tastes
So, my dad has no taste buds...
But he's got a ton of taste pals!
How much soda do you have to drink before it tastes like birds?
What do you get when you grind orphan wheat?
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
From all tubed meat I have tasted, this one was really bad.
My mom bought nasty sparkling water drinks. My brother said it tasted like devil incarnate.
I said it tasted like devil carbonate :D
Cake day original joke! Why don’t penguins like eating clown fish?
Because they taste funny!
Visiting my parents for the first time since COVID. He has taken up cropdusting people and proclaiming, "Surprise health check." To make sure you can smell and/or taste still.
Sorry not a witty one-liner but peak of dad humor.
I went to one of those new cannibal themed restaurant last night...
Dad, I need help writing a sentence using the word "irony."
Try this :
I licked a golf club and it tasted irony.
Have you guys ever wondered how a nose tastes?
I caught my dog chewing on my boots.
I guess he has really good taste in footwear.
Who said tahini makes everything taste better
Why do frogs taste like beer?
Cause they are full of hops.
I like to eat frogs, they taste like beer
Because they’re full of hops
What tastes better than it smells?
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