Reali-tea
The decision was a piece of cake.
Haribo Potter
Refer to god as the I Yam
(Forgive me 😬)
But I guess it was a fig mint of my imagination.
They believe it’s the tomb of Pharaoh Rocher
One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
It's not well known that among the species of plants taken aboard Noah's Ark was a very odd berry. This berry had a special property where if you ate too few at once they would be sour, but if you ate too many at once they would be bitter. Even stranger was that the right number of berries to eat at once for perfect sweetness was different for each person.
Shem would never take enough berries and would complain every time "Ugh! These berries are so sour! Why did we bring these plants?" Noah would reply "I've told you over and over, you need to eat a couple more in a mouthful to make them sweet."
Ham would always take too many berries and would complain every time "Ick! These berries are so bitter! I'd like to toss the plants overboard." Noah would reply "I've told you over and over, you need to eat fewer in a mouthful to make them sweet."
Japeth would grab a random amount and whenever they were bitter or sour he'd complain "Why do these berries never taste the same? We should let the animals eat the plants so we don't have to eat the silly berries." Noah would reply "I've told you over and over, you should remember how many berries taste the best."
After a couple of weeks of this, Noah announced "I'm taking charge of portioning the berries. I've made notes of how many of them taste the best for me, my wife, all of you my sons, and your wives. At meals I'll give each of you the correct amount, and NO MORE COMPLAINTS!"
Another week passed and Japeth wanted some berries to take the edge off his hunger, but rather than wander all over the whole ark looking for his father he asked Emzara "Where's dad? I'd like some berries before lunch."
Emzara pointed to the storeroom and said "I thought you were tired of the berries? But there's Noah, counting for taste."
But who am I to disagree?
I think therefore I Yam.
Idk I’d this is allowed, but thank you to all the dads and moms and parents who make life a little brighter. Even if your kid looks embarrassed or annoyed, I bet their mouths got the hint of a smile :). Me and my dad have had a rocky relationship, but he pulled a cheesy dad joke the other day and I couldn’t help but chuckle. Don’t give up! Keep cracking jokes!
Son: Do I need to turn out off and on again?
Wife: Just stop hitting the buttons, it's frozen.
Me: No, this is The Secret Life of Pets.
The sweet music of exasperated sighs.
Previously owned by Neil Diamond.
Dead velvet cake.
So that it could be the other side. Courtesy of my 6 year old. I’m so proud.
Riceless
"Smell that sweet Dairy Air!"
If the joke's unclear:>!"dairy air" sounds like "derriere"!<
Who am I to dis-a-brie?
Honestly I should have noticed all the red flags
I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."
“I’m in bread.”
A necktarine
But I don’t want to sugar coat it.
When I got there, I took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter. The Pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me. I said, “Yes! Could you please taste this for me?” Being I’m a Senior Citizen, I guess the Pharmacist just went along with me. He picked up the spoon and put a tiny bit of the liquid on his tongue and swilled it around. Then with a stomach-churning look on his face he spit it out on the floor and began coughing, gagging and turning green. When he finally was finished, I looked him right in the eye asked, “Now, does that taste sweet to you?” The Pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled, “HELL NO!!!” So I said, “Oh thank God! That’s such a relief! My Doctor told me to have a Pharmacist test my Urine for sugar!”
Because it's For a Yam!
I replied, Perhaps mourning would...
He's known as Willy Wonky.
He has treat smarts.
He was dead lifting.
Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!
Because he’d been a wafer too long.
Her/She
"Until the pressure got to him."
It’s really been a great cake day
The decision was a piece of cake.
Who am I to diss a brie?
