“Officer, the sign clearly says to ‘pet area.’”
I should call it Tumor Humor.
What a load of bologna.
You might say it was a lucky stroke...
I actually did have a stroke, btw. Back in '17. Caused by an aneurysm bursting in my brain stem. Was less than fun. But to paraphrase Mel Brooks, if you can laugh at it, you've won.
She got fired
Mostly golf strokes, swimming strokes, tennis strokes etc.
He died mid-stroke.
"The ambulance", he says.
Her: "You're a pretty strong swimmer"
Me: "Yeah but I never learned butterfly stroke"
Her: "Butterfly? You just...wing it"
We both looked at each other and snickered like children.
Title Edit: "My wife and I were talking"*
The third one couldn’t, her arms were too short.
The other couldn’t reach.
He’s alright now
He goes around telling people he’s a self stroking Dick. True story.
It was a stroke of genius
Three nuns were praying on a park bench when a man walks up and flashes them.
1st nun had a stroke, the 2nd nun also had a stroke.
The 3rd one was too slow!
I told them, "It's Different Strokes for Different Folks."
So today my dad had a stroke and while we were waiting for doctors to come back he grabbed all the cords to the ekg cords connected to him and said, "I feel like I'm behind the TV!"
My dad always makes jokes in time of panic and pain. I guess that's where I get it from.
Little Seizures
"Don't worry, sir," reassured the dispatcher. "Emergency services are on their way. Just try to remain calm and stay with her until they arrive."
"How long will the ambulance be?" the man asked.
"About eighteen feet," replied the dispatcher.
I live on the edge of a golf course, and someone’s golf ball landed in our yard, so I grabbed it, ran over to the fairway before they got there and tossed it on. I saved them a penalty stroke!
An irrelephant.
So they can lower their amount of strokes
She'll be alright
It was a real stroke of genius
The dog comes back with 50 sheep. The farmers says, "we only have 48 sheep." The dog replies, "Yea, I told you I was going to round them up."
A yeet stroke
Only trouble is, every time my wife strokes it, I stick my ass in the air.
One's a curfew
The other's a fur queue
I mean, that's how he died..
I found that statement to be one-sided
...I thought to myself, that’s a little condescending.
The less strokes you have, the better.
Edit* “What does life and golf have in common” not “...and in common”
One has claws at the end of its paws, one is a pause at the end of a clause
A woman calls her husband's doctor. "Did you really tell my husband he could masturbate whenever he wanted?"
"No ma'am, I told him he could have a stroke at any time."
He would never golf again.
All his mini strokes put him above par.
