Last night I was dreaming I was swing in a ocean of Fanta...

but turns out it was just a Fanta sea.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WWG_Genius
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Knock Knock "who's there" Not Sally

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fabulos4
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How can Jedis swing so lightly with a lightsaber and still cut through everything so easily.

They swing with alot of Force.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notathrowaway2937
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you.

That's the punch line.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_L_v_e_S
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm holding a 17th Century Party, and all the Enlightenment thinkers can swing by - except one.

Immanuel Kan't.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Supah_Cole
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack was out cutting down trees in the forest one day. He went to swing his axe and the tree screamed "WAIT! I'M A TALKING TREE!!!!"

The lumberjack looked up at the tree and paused saying "well, you may be a talking tree, but I'll see that you die a log!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you all remember being in the back yard and dad pushing you in the tire swing?

Those were Goodyears

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/konajones
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife said that her mood swings,

Well mine usually goes down the slide.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoE_MoMA420
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, β€œWait! I’m a talking tree!"

The lumberjack grinned and said: β€œAnd you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 844
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
No matter how we pitched the human organs to the other team, they'd swing and miss...

They didn't even bat an eye.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A grandfather clock swings both ways

That’s why we β€˜watch the hours go bi’

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NLLumi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What's brown and swings from the belltower?

The lunch bag of Notre Dame

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Remo1975
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Swing and a hit
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joe-mitchell1956
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
These crazy mood swings
πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatalystCoin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did Sarah fall off the swing?

because she has no arms.

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Not Sarah.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scruluce
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What's brown and swings from the bell tower ?

The lunch bag of Notre Dame

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does earth always have mood swings?

Because it's bipolar

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/monsterlooster
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know Helen Keller had a swing-set in her back yard?

...neither did she

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s white, light and sugary and swings through trees? ...

...a meringue-utan

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you feel about swing sets?

I go back and forth on them.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingerbread-giant
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the girl fall off the swing?

She didn't have any arms..

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/code_engine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a train with constant mood swings?

the bipolar express

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BakexCake
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
All these Spider-Man meme's are in full swing
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danskemobler
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cup that falls off a swing?

A tumbler!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joeydrums1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad: Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Kid: why?

Dad: because she had no arms!

Kid: laughs you’re so funny dad

Dad: here’s another... knock knock!

Kid: who’s there??

Dad: NOT SALLY!

Kid: ....

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thesmartguava
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of bats swing upside down?

Acro-bats!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnyeChan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Nintendo has a patent for a swing set based console?

They call it the Nintendo Wheeeeeeeeeee!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clapton_Coil
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Good heavens, this cat is having mood swings and hot flashes.

It’s the menopaws.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a polar bear with mood swings?

A bi-polar bear.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Devuluh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2016
🚨︎ report
Polyamory is great if you can swing it.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saint_strongbad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2016
🚨︎ report
With the World Cup in Full Swing

I texted my 13 year old nephew about tonight USA v. Ghana game.

"Do you think we're Ghana win?"

"Are they ghana give us a chance?"

He was not amused.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NameIdeas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2014
🚨︎ report
Dadmas is in full swing.

It's tradition to watch A Christmas Story at least like nine times on Christmas in my family. There's a part where Ralphie stares into the camera and smiles after getting away with lying to his mother. Trying to be funny, I said "What the hell's he lookin at!?"

My sister answers with "The camera! It's like in The Office."

Me: "You know, I could never get into The Office."

Dad: "You should find the key, then."

Merry dadmas!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/probablyacactus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
🚨︎ report
Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock knock who's there

Not Sally

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, β€œWait! I’m a talking tree!"

The lumberjack grinned, β€œAnd you will dialogue!"

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did Sarah fall of the swing?

She had no arms.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Not Sarah.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GingaGames
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know Helen Keller had a swing-set in her back yard? No?

Neither did she.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Suddu0597
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report

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