This wasn’t even a hard one. Not to stroke my own ego or anything.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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It is scientifically proven that eating cookies reduces the chance of you getting a stroke.

Mostly golf strokes, swimming strokes, tennis strokes etc.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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My father had a stroke last night. While he was in his bed in the ER with slurred speech and half his face paralyzed, the nurse comes in and asks, "So, what brings you here tonight?"

"The ambulance", he says.

πŸ‘︎ 767
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPapiC-Dog
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
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A flasher sees three old ladies on a park bench. He walks up and exposes himself. The first one had a stroke. The second one had a stroke.

The third one couldn’t, her arms were too short.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tupacwolverine
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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Two elderly women were sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. One woman has a stroke.

The other couldn’t reach.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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My dad’s name is Dick, a few years ago he had a stroke.

He goes around telling people he’s a self stroking Dick. True story.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hosenhoffen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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My friend had a stroke the other day

He’s alright now

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Finn-GJ
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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My kids asked whether you smell burnt toast or burnt popcorn when you're having a stroke

I told them, "It's Different Strokes for Different Folks."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dadraik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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I had a stroke while making this
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackalMainOkay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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My dad had a stroke today and made a joke in the hostpital.

So today my dad had a stroke and while we were waiting for doctors to come back he grabbed all the cords to the ekg cords connected to him and said, "I feel like I'm behind the TV!"

My dad always makes jokes in time of panic and pain. I guess that's where I get it from.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterScrewUp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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What do you call a series of short strokes induced by consuming pizza?

Little Seizures

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_a_dum_bum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I just saved someone from having a stroke!

I live on the edge of a golf course, and someone’s golf ball landed in our yard, so I grabbed it, ran over to the fairway before they got there and tossed it on. I saved them a penalty stroke!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alpine4
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
A man rushed to dial 911 one evening when his wife displayed early signs of a stroke.

"Don't worry, sir," reassured the dispatcher. "Emergency services are on their way. Just try to remain calm and stay with her until they arrive."

"How long will the ambulance be?" the man asked.

"About eighteen feet," replied the dispatcher.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Muchacho1994
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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Grandma had a stroke yesterday and paralyze her left side, but....

She'll be alright

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joe2u2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a restriction and a line of people waiting to stroke my cat?

One's a curfew

The other's a fur queue

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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I saw a billboard that said my hospital had award winning stroke care

I found that statement to be one-sided

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
🚨︎ report
When golfers jack off do they still try for the fewest strokes?
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slento
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad had a bad stroke

He would never golf again.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedeadlinger
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2016
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My Mouse Must Have Had A Stroke, Because The Right Half Wasn't Working Yesterday and Today He Died imgur.com/jjLidmb
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/graceonyour_____
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2015
🚨︎ report
Instructor got me in class on heart attacks and stroke

Do you know what athletes have the most strokes? Second is golfers. First is swimmers. Breast stroke, back stroke, side stroke....

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShortWoman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2016
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My dad had a stroke a couple months ago.

He made a full recovery but had a spell last night and fell a few times from low blood pressure. He said his butt was sore so he was going to check it in the mirror. He said "I looked and it looks like I cracked my butt......"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SMYTAITY
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2015
🚨︎ report
My dad had a stroke of accidental genius

It's Ramadan right now (fasting month for muslims) and I was talking to my dad when he told me that it's the last day.

I said, "Can't believe it's the last day already."

And he says, "Yeah, it's so fast!"

He didn't realize he made a joke at first, but after that, we shared a sensible chuckle and a high five.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2014
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