My wife and I are making some artwork in the name of our favourite Bon Jovi song. So far we have the words "Livin' on".

We're half way there.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad's not allowed to speak Japanese, let alone teach the language. But there's nothing that says he can't teach Japanese cooking and geography. So far, I just learned the cooking tools and the location of the country.

This is Japan, this is ja-spatula, this is ja-whisk, this is ja-wok, this is ja-mixer, this is ja-fork, this is ja-spoon, and these are ja-chopsticks.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoxyCamoCat738
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
β€œHey, how much wood have you chopped so far?”

β€œNot sure. Let me check the logs.”

πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife looked at me beaming with pride and said, β€œWow! I never thought our son could go so far!”

I said, β€œI know. This trebuchet is amazing. Go get our daughter.”

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Best dad joke I've heard today.. so far

Me: "Are you free tomorrow?"

Dad: "No, I'm 5 bucks tomorrow."

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
My favorite so far

What did James Bond do before bed

He went under cover

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwnSpecialist8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
So far I've memorized seven pages of this dictionary;

I've learned next to nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/H_G_Bells
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m proud of my son, I never thought he’d go so far

The catapult worked well

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhoenixFlamebird
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m doing a run of PokΓ©mon: SoulSilver where I name everybody after musical artist puns. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far- pretty catchy, huh?
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TristAndShout
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Started to learn to tell time on a analog clock last week. So far I can only tell when it’s 6:30

But I got that one hands down.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TongueBandit69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I let my son wear a Liverpool jersey today. So far he’s been kicked, punched and spit at...

...it’ll be interesting to see what happens when he leaves the house.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cormac-Dockry
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
You know, with everything that’s happening so far in 2020...

You’d think someone would have seen it coming

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EntrancedSnow70
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm trying to compose my first haiku, but so far can only write one line.

Gotta start somewhere

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kseandoyle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Today has been a great day so far. I rate it 10/10
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheineken
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
2019 has been an odd year so far

Because it isn’t even.

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/avalanche3387
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Found in r/lounge. Without a doubt the best comment chain I have seen so far.
πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoeyFalcon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Most fisherman hold their fish far away from their bodies when they take pictures. This is why they think they're so much bigger than they are.

They're not to scale.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the latest Batman film. Our dates so far can be summarised as follows:

Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, Batman

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away

But then I realised I had the binoculars the wrong way round

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bustedseat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been studying up on my slang and applying that to my pick up game, so far it's been successful.

More of a thot experiment really.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArmadilloEarWax
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
This might be my proudest dad joke so far

My daughter was meeting Daisy Duck at Disney world this morning and Daisy was signing her autograph book. I mentioned to the Disney cast member who was taking the photos that I didn't know that Daisy was left handed. The cast member said "Maybe she's ambidextrous" to which I replied "I think you mean ambiDUCKstrous".

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tubabacon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I was playing soccer and wondered how they could kick the ball so far

Then it hit me

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fab-_-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
So far, in 2019, I'm down 100 pounds!

I'm going to cancel my membership on this low stakes UK gambling website.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stevehrowe2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw Michael Stipe from R.E.M. die last night, but so far only two people know.

🎢 That's me and the coroner 🎢

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dpearse2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been referencing the Simpsons movie since it came out...No one has gotten it...So far...
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwampyJester719
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
The latest royal baby just began speaking today! No comment from Buckingham Palace so far.

Apparently, Mum's the word.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Studying Spanish and these are the puns I've come up with so far.

English and Spanish.

The Trump administration is making a game out of getting Latinos out of the country, they call it deporte.

Spanish heathens have to pay extra to preforn their ceremonies. Pagan rituals

What sci-fi weapon does the King of Spain prefer? A rey-gun!

Do you know how many times anyone had to tell me how to say 'eleven' in Spanish? Once.

Exclusivamente en espaΓ±ol (PerdΓ³n por errores gramaticales)

QuΓ© comida es el mas mojado? El agua-cate

Cual comida no puede decir una mentira? La verdadura

Como se llama un libro sobra la revoluciΓ³n? Libre!

QuΓ© es exactamente una mejor que Beyonce? Beydoce

Cual animal siempre tiene un novio o novia? El Parejaro.

Cual comida es el menos diverido? Aburrito.

Sobre que papel de pelicula de Madonna no le quiere hablar? Evita!

Quiero que me digΓ‘is mas. Nunca tengo suficiente bromas!

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DankOfTheEndless
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
🚨︎ report
Best Pick Up line I know so far
πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bollister
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do speed metal groups stand so far apart from each other on stage?

Because speed is limited by band width

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acnine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is Saudi Arabia so technologically far behind?

They live under Iraq...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_ME_DRUMSETS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
🚨︎ report
My best work so far.

At work, there was a metal catering tray filled to the brim with cold water sittin' around for no reason so I asked the receptionist/coworker, who has said repeatedly that she just can't stand me, if I should dump it. She looked at me, smiled and said "If you can." I responded "without spilling it?" In a 'of course I'm not going to spill but dont rule it out' way. She said "Yes." Silently giving me good luck. Fortunately, I done did the deed and no brand new flooring was harmed. I then proceeded to google water jokes. After that, I walked up to her desk, glanced into her soul for the slightest moment while greeting, "Hey Sarah" , then I swiftly looked downwards as she asked, "Yeah?" I THEN told her this, "I don't know about you but unlike that cold water I just dumped". I pause, regain eye contact and finished with, "boiling water will be mist."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dafuq0_0
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
So far, Humpty Dumpty is having a terrible winter

Which sucks because he had a great fall.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sno0p-
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm usually not one to complain about my wife, but so far I have done dishes every day this year, while she hasn't done any.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
We have occasional pun wars at my workplace (drive through cafΓ¨) and this was this weeks so far... i.reddituploads.com/f4086…
πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Corgity_Doge
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2016
🚨︎ report
My Greatest Pun So Far

I was with a friend in the mall, we wandered into one of those stores where they have cute Japan-ized versions of everything. We were looking at some overly cute plush round pillow-esque versions of Spongebob, Dora the Explorer, and Spiderman.

My friend picks up Dora the Explorer and says "Man, she's not supposed to be round, what is this?" I instantly came back with "Come on man, it's a-Dora-ball."

I was so proud I've been telling everyone and I figured you guys would appreciate it.

πŸ‘︎ 134
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gimpster
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2012
🚨︎ report
Fun whiskey fact: when creating Buffalo Trace bourbon, the first couple of attempts were complete failures. They even went so far as to destroy all records of the early products

which is why you never hear about Buffalo Uno or Buffalo Dos

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2017
🚨︎ report
It was my first day on the job at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. My boss gave me the easiest, but most important, job on the assembly line. After a few hours, my boss frantically ran to my station to check in on me. "Why are you so far behind? Why are marbles and thread scattered everywhere?"

"Sorry boss... I just can't keep up! You told me to give each Elmo two test tickles!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PolarBurrito
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I've done a lot of leisurely travel in my life so far, but the closest I'll ever be to jet setting is probably on my shower head.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/walpolemarsh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2017
🚨︎ report
World Cup top scorer so far

Is Owen. Ans really who is that guy? All i know is that so far i have hear Owen goal for 5 different teams

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HaroldFinch97
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
🚨︎ report
My favorite so far. (Long)

So this group of Irish monks needs to make payments on their belfry, and they've begun to run out of money, so after racking their brains for a few nights, and trying everything they could to get some cash together, they decide to sell flowers to make money. For weeks they sell flowers, and it's going well. Too well in fact, they've begun to run the local florist, Patty O'Flannigan out of town. Well, a bit cheesed at the monks jumping in on his territory, he decides to confront them. He asks them to step off, politely, but they simply respond that, "That's no way to talk to men of God!", and throw him out of their monastery. For weeks this goes on, the monks selling flowers, and the florist getting more and more desperate to make them stop. Finally, he goes to Hugh Mactaggart, the biggest, baddest man in town -- he could get anyone to leave town -- so Patty decides he's the best way to get rid of the monks, gives him the rest of the money, and retires to bed, wary of the results. In the morning, a knock on his door reveals Mactaggart, offering a firm handshake and saying, "They shant be botherin' ya again Patty." The moral of the story is, Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xctwprice
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do Castle doors have their locks so far above the ground?

Because of the higher-key

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFifthStep
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2017
🚨︎ report
I got a new job recently as a junior accountant, I’m enjoying it so far but..

Most days I find the work very taxing.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InsomniacsDream
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Waitress asked us if our meal was good so far.

Dad: "So far so good, but I know it's soon gonna turn to shit."

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrsunshine1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2017
🚨︎ report
I've had to sit through 4 classes about surface tension so far!

It's getting a little over the top.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jack_fergusson5
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2017
🚨︎ report
My friend Rhee died, but I've convinced myself that he's just gone far away. I don't like to talk about it, so when someone asks me I just say...

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2017
🚨︎ report
My wife looked at me with pride and said, β€œWow! I had no idea our son would go so far.”

I said, β€œYeah. The trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter.”

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away

But then I realised I had the binoculars the wrong way round...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cartoonboy73
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report

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