They call themselves Squished Squash!
12 counts of hummuside
He didn’t want to get in trouble s o he stopped his truck got out and started to pick up each broken piece of the wreckage and spread a creamy substance on it. Then he began fitting the pieces together. In less than 10 minutes, he had the entire tollbooth reconstructed and looking good as new. The toll manager came up to him, impressed and said, “Wow you fixed that fast! What was that stuff you used to stick all the pieces together?”
“Oh”, said the man, “just a bit of Tollgate booth paste“
He's a large hadron colluder.
"A TOE TRUCK!!??"
But then I saw her face.
re-percussions followed
A square off!
I guess hezsjkfowgajqjhsjwkwlsvvcaxxacfasuoc
They're now facing a glass action lawsuit.
What a pane in the ass!
“...cereal killer.”
It was a pane to replace.
Ganondorf, because they both enjoy "killing young links".
Water's brilliant.
Water's fantastic.
Can't get enough water. Water's smashing...
....sorry I'm gushing.
It wasn't all bad though, I love grilled fish.
Fantastic returns policy.
They ruled it out as hummuscide
I replied in agony nice toe meet you.
I didn't nintendoe do that
They get Dell-eted
Super Smash Bros.
A bull dozer.
Guess I broke the record
Really brought a tier to my eye.
It's unclear what happened
I'm surprised he didn't go for Super Smash Bros. Maylay.
A man named Dave comes home very drunk late at night...
So this guy has been drinking with his buddies all night and he's as drunk as a skunk, gets home, falls up the stairs, undresses and goes to bed next to his wife. He falls asleep and next thing he knows, bang, he dies and finds himself waiting at the pearly gates.
The guy refuses to believe this is happening, he says to St. Peter: "This can't be possible, I'm a healthy man! This is not the way I die. You have to let me return down there!"
The guy can see St. Peter looks like he's feeling sorry for him, but he tells him that unfortunately, there's no policy for allowing people back on Earth. The guy insists: "But come on, there's got to be something you can do! I'll put up with anything, really, as long as you let me go back down."
So St. Peters tells him: "Well really, there's just this one possibility: you can go back, but only as a hen. That's the only thing we can allow." The guy guesses that this really is his only chance, so he agrees reluctantly.
So he's back on Earth in this beautiful chicken coop, the sun is shining, there's green grass everywhere, this is hen paradise. The other hens greet him with delight and he tells them his story, everything goes nicely. But then he feels kind of unwell, there's something wrong with his stomach. He asks this old hen: "Tell me, I've got this weird feeling in my belly, I'm not too well. What is happening to me?"
The old hen: "Well dearie, we hens lay eggs, you know. I bet you've never laid a nice egg before... You need to push it out now, and you'll feel much better after!"
So the guy pushes and pushes, and wham, out pops his first egg. The old hen congratulates him and he feels much better. But not 5 minutes later, his pain comes back. He returns to the old hen for advice.
"Well dearie, it's quite special but it happens that you need to lay TWO eggs, so go back there and keep pushing!"
So he goes back to his nest and pushes, and nothing comes, and he pushes harder, and wham, out comes his second egg! He feels much better, but not 2 minutes later, you guessed it, he's back in terrible pain and goes to see the old hen.
"What's this bullshit here, and don't tell me I've got a third egg to lay!" The old hen can't make head or tail of it and just tells him that when in doubt, he should be pushing. So the guy goes back to work and then, wham, his wife wakes him up with this smashing slap in the face and yells: "*Dave! Dave wake up you’re
... keep reading on reddit ➡
They said it was the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack.
Wasn't too happy when I pulled out my Switch
Walk-a-moley
"Shoryuken."
I'm calling it Guac-a-Mole
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
