Skinning Puns

Towels

Towel!!!

Arse skin for a friend.

He didn't want to make a rash decision.

He had secs a peel.

..no one even raises an eyebrow.

WOW....I'm cured.

A tax-a-dermis!

Let that sink in.

That's no skin off of my nose!

Towels!

So much cheaper than burying her in the cemetery.

4

The view was not worth the trip.

So I have to keep them in the shed.

But it was just a pigment of my imagination

I just want to know the cutoff date.

Because it's rough.

"Stairs don't talk!"

That’s it. That’s the joke.

Leather. It's made of hide.

It’s a real gallery of the fine warts.

Nothing gets under their skin

My friends started freaking out. They wouldn’t stop either. So I said “ I incyst you don’t abscess over this

I guess it's back to square won.

An elephant!

Subcutaneous.

You know what they say though...

Beauty is only skinned heap

I'd always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about.

I'll never forget the pain of my first kid knee stones...

You just have to listen varicosely.

Oil of Olé

I’m starting to think that he doesn’t want to make a rash decision.

It’s non friction.

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

I was glad they had some skin in the game.

Ass skin for a friend.

Towels

Towels

Towels

Towels

A towel.

Got em

Towels

Ass skin for a friend

Towels

Towels

A towel.

Towels

Towels.