But now I am finally clean
Because he might Peek-at-chu.
Optional addition NSFW or kids: And if he gets really excited, he might Squirtle.
I told him a snack tastes better cooked.
My boyfriend said, "That must've been an eye-soapening experience."
"I stink, therefore, I am."
Alternatively: what did Descartes say after becoming an alcoholic? "I drink, therefore, I am."
So I was enjoying my nice warm shower. She says "Do you always take cold showers in the morning?" I say, "I'm not taking a cold shower."
She says "...yet", and pour ice cold water on me.
I would've groaned, but I was too busy shrinking.
It turned out all blurry. I think I have selfie steam issues.
Then it’s a soap opera
Pilgrims
Just the other day, he told me I have acute tonsillitis
Just give it back.
Because he just loved using bath bombs too much..
Head and shoulders
"It's the blind man".
So she answered the door naked...
"Nice boobs. Where do you want me to hang the blind?"
So they can have meatier showers.
...does that mean that every country is a third-world country?
But I still haven't been able to grasp onto it yet!
No, I respect others’ privacy
I don’t know why I’d be in the shower that long, just think of the water bill that’d make!
Or are we still just washing our hands?
Towel!!!
Heads and Shoulders.
I would tell her otherwise, but she's in the shower right now.
...she was an LPN.
We had a Don't Bother Checking account.
My first pet only had 3 legs, and it was a centipede.
Mom had one bra, and it was a lease.
For breakfast we ate Lieutenant Crunch.
My first spoon was monogrammed though ("1/2 TSP").
We were too poor to even say "awesome." We had to say "awefew."
We sat at the campfire and made S'Lesses.
My pillow only had one side.
Repossession was 9/10 of the law.
Five kids had to share one shoelace, and instead of toenails we grew toe staples.
Our scotch tape was scots-irish.
(I'm allowed)
My first shower came with sound effects and a lightshow.
One year Santa had to bring stockings.
The next year he filled them with nooses.
I did have a jumprope with a rattle on the end. And fangs on the other.
Other kids hunted eggs for Easter but we just died.
Funny, most people sing in the shower.
Pilgrims, of course!
Pilgrims..
He has selfie steam issues.
Pilgrims....
Pilgrims
Then it becomes a soap opera.
Pilgrims
Then it becomes a soap opera
A soap opera
He has selfie-steam issues
Dad: Don’t take it too far
Pilgrims
Dad: Don’t hurt yourself!
