I once told a girl that her body was shaped like a ketchup bottle.
She took it as a condiment.
π︎ 82
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
If you told me you were a U-shaped stringed instrument
Well, then Iβd say you were a lyre.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
Well this one really grew pear shaped
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
My friend found a custom pc case shaped like a boat.
I told her "I hope the USBs are portside"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
Hey! Did you see that snail-shaped car with the letter S painted on it drive by?
Just look at that escargo.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
Bought my wife a castle shaped abacus for her birthday...
Itβs the fort that counts
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 10 2021
I don't know whether dumpling-shaped pasta made of potato flour exists, but I'll believe it when I see it.
You can say I'm agnocchic.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
This summer when I dug potatoes from my garden, they all were shaped like a letter from the alphabet...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
They tried to make a diamond shaped like a duck
But it quacked under pressure
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
My ADHD medicine comes in a case shaped like a 3-sided polygon where each side is the same size, and the pills are distributed uniformly.
It's an equal Adderall triangle.
π︎ 34
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
Ever wonder how spider makes a circle-shaped web perfectly?
Because it's sΟder we're talking about.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
What do you call a boat made of potatoes shaped like male genitalia?
π︎ 103
π
︎ Jul 26 2020
I bought this dumb novelty baking pan shaped like Camelot.
I think I'll break it in by making a castlerole.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
They said constructing viagras office building to be shaped like a penis would be difficult
But I didnβt expect it to be that hard
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jul 20 2020
Why did the baker switch to dog shaped rolls?
He always wanted a purebred.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 22 2020
What animal is shaped like a square ?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
I just gave a sick burn to a load of hedges shaped into a pattern.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
Apple just released their brand new round-shaped product
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 27 2020
A penis shaped lollipop isnβt a real present...
Itβs more of a gag gift.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Jun 27 2020
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
A Car Shaped Like A Chicken Won the Pinewood Derby.
Judges said it was poultry in motion.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 26 2020
I was at the supermarket and I picked up these little odd shaped onions. When I got home my wife asked should she use them for dinner tonight, I told her "Yes, but they're quite strong so...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 08 2020
What do you call something that is red and shaped like a bucket?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
Brother: "Why do we have a mouse-shaped fishing lure?"
Me: "So you can catch a catfish."
We were using my late dad's tackle box from the 90's. Only logical explanation is that I was controlled by his spirit.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 02 2020
When i was at a circus my mom bought me a clown shaped lollipop
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 21 2020
I felt bad for eating my Jewish friend's coin shaped chocolate candy he had purchased to given his children at Hanukkah...
Pangs of gelt haunt me to this day!
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 16 2020
What happened to the guy that sold land mines shaped like prayer maps?
The prophets were through the roof
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 08 2019
I'm coming up with knot designs shaped like letters of the Alphabet.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
Three of my high school's percussionists were all involved in a torrid affair regarding the geometric shaped piece of metal...
It was an odd love triangle...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 14 2020
What do you call a cat-shaped cup?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 30 2020
Did I ever tell you about the bruise I had that was shaped like a T-Rex?
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 26 2019
Why is Toblerone shaped like a triangle?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 22 2019
I submitted a statue of myself shaped like a butt to an art contest.
I didnβt win but the judges said I made a real ass of myself.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Aug 01 2019
I hope to one day be rich enough to buy a ring-shaped island chain formed of coral, where I can retire to relax.
Iβll call it my No Worries Atoll.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 03 2020
What do you call a white bear that's shaped like a tooth?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 26 2019
The card I got from my father is shaped like a hot dog
"Hot dog, it's your birthday! Let's be Frank, you're probably planning to party your buns off, so go ahead - don't be a weenie! Relish every moment of your celebration."
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 25 2019
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel shaped looking thing in his pants
the bartender said "you know you have your ships steering wheel in your pants?"
the pirate replied "argh matey, i know its driving me nuts"
π︎ 21
π
︎ Sep 10 2019
What do you call donut-shaped pane of glass?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 10 2019
Is it just me or does oddly shaped fruit really get on your nerves?
Eh, maybe I'm just being pear-annoyed.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 04 2019
Sea: I shaped you, you know?
Shore: are you sure?
Sea: No, Iβm not, but you are.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 08 2019
My friend found a custom pc case shaped like a boat.
I told her "I hope the USBs are portside"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
My wife was disappointed with the castle shaped clock I bought for her birthday....
But itβs the fort that counts.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
I once told a girl that her body was shaped like a ketchup bottle.
She took it as a condiment.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Mar 14 2020
Imagine a boat made of potatoes shaped like male genitalia... It's a dictatorship
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 02 2020
2 puns were hidden from this page.
Show all.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
