I once told a girl that her body was shaped like a ketchup bottle.
She took it as a condiment.
π︎ 82
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
If you told me you were a U-shaped stringed instrument
Well, then Iβd say you were a lyre.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
Well this one really grew pear shaped
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
My friend found a custom pc case shaped like a boat.
I told her "I hope the USBs are portside"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
Hey! Did you see that snail-shaped car with the letter S painted on it drive by?
Just look at that escargo.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
Bought my wife a castle shaped abacus for her birthday...
Itβs the fort that counts
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 10 2021
I don't know whether dumpling-shaped pasta made of potato flour exists, but I'll believe it when I see it.
You can say I'm agnocchic.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
This summer when I dug potatoes from my garden, they all were shaped like a letter from the alphabet...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
They tried to make a diamond shaped like a duck
But it quacked under pressure
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
My ADHD medicine comes in a case shaped like a 3-sided polygon where each side is the same size, and the pills are distributed uniformly.
It's an equal Adderall triangle.
π︎ 34
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
Ever wonder how spider makes a circle-shaped web perfectly?
Because it's sΟder we're talking about.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
What do you call a boat made of potatoes shaped like male genitalia?
π︎ 103
π
︎ Jul 26 2020
I bought this dumb novelty baking pan shaped like Camelot.
I think I'll break it in by making a castlerole.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
They said constructing viagras office building to be shaped like a penis would be difficult
But I didnβt expect it to be that hard
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jul 20 2020
Why did the baker switch to dog shaped rolls?
He always wanted a purebred.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 22 2020
What animal is shaped like a square ?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
I just gave a sick burn to a load of hedges shaped into a pattern.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
Apple just released their brand new round-shaped product
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 27 2020
A penis shaped lollipop isnβt a real present...
Itβs more of a gag gift.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Jun 27 2020
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
A Car Shaped Like A Chicken Won the Pinewood Derby.
Judges said it was poultry in motion.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 26 2020
I was at the supermarket and I picked up these little odd shaped onions. When I got home my wife asked should she use them for dinner tonight, I told her "Yes, but they're quite strong so...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 08 2020
What do you call something that is red and shaped like a bucket?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
A man was arrested for beating up someone with a battery-shaped dildo
He was charged with sexual battery.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 27 2020
Brother: "Why do we have a mouse-shaped fishing lure?"
Me: "So you can catch a catfish."
We were using my late dad's tackle box from the 90's. Only logical explanation is that I was controlled by his spirit.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 02 2020
When i was at a circus my mom bought me a clown shaped lollipop
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 21 2020
I felt bad for eating my Jewish friend's coin shaped chocolate candy he had purchased to given his children at Hanukkah...
Pangs of gelt haunt me to this day!
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 16 2020
What happened to the guy that sold land mines shaped like prayer maps?
The prophets were through the roof
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 08 2019
I'm coming up with knot designs shaped like letters of the Alphabet.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
Three of my high school's percussionists were all involved in a torrid affair regarding the geometric shaped piece of metal...
It was an odd love triangle...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 14 2020
What do you call a cat-shaped cup?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 30 2020
Did I ever tell you about the bruise I had that was shaped like a T-Rex?
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 26 2019
Why is Toblerone shaped like a triangle?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 22 2019
I submitted a statue of myself shaped like a butt to an art contest.
I didnβt win but the judges said I made a real ass of myself.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Aug 01 2019
I hope to one day be rich enough to buy a ring-shaped island chain formed of coral, where I can retire to relax.
Iβll call it my No Worries Atoll.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 03 2020
What do you call a white bear that's shaped like a tooth?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 26 2019
The card I got from my father is shaped like a hot dog
"Hot dog, it's your birthday! Let's be Frank, you're probably planning to party your buns off, so go ahead - don't be a weenie! Relish every moment of your celebration."
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 25 2019
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel shaped looking thing in his pants
the bartender said "you know you have your ships steering wheel in your pants?"
the pirate replied "argh matey, i know its driving me nuts"
π︎ 21
π
︎ Sep 10 2019
Got my wife a butt plug shaped as the Russian president
She wanted something to Putin her butt
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 27 2019
What do you call donut-shaped pane of glass?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 10 2019
Is it just me or does oddly shaped fruit really get on your nerves?
Eh, maybe I'm just being pear-annoyed.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 04 2019
Sea: I shaped you, you know?
Shore: are you sure?
Sea: No, Iβm not, but you are.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 08 2019
My friend found a custom pc case shaped like a boat.
I told her "I hope the USBs are portside"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
My wife was disappointed with the castle shaped clock I bought for her birthday....
But itβs the fort that counts.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
I once told a girl that her body was shaped like a ketchup bottle.
She took it as a condiment.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Mar 14 2020
Imagine a boat made of potatoes shaped like male genitalia... It's a dictatorship
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 02 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
